Life is going so smoothly for me right now, but I see a storm cloud approaching.  Experiencing rejection from the girl of my dreams nearly drove me to true insanity last spring.  Now, I'm slowly accepting that it just won't work between her and I, and I'm trying to look elsewhere.

I think I may be starting to like this other girl now, and I'm terrified that I'm going to go through the same blasted thing all over again.  I desperately want to find out what the hell went wrong last time so that I don't experience that again.

I never used to show enough interest when I liked someone, so I fixed that last time, in the spring.  In the spring, I showed interest and initiative, I really tried.  I still failed, and I can't think of a single thing I did wrong, so maybe the wind just wasn't at my back, she just wasn't the right girl.

Maybe that was my only mistake.  I didn't calm down and think through whether this was actually the right person.  There we go, that's probably what I should do this time.

Ok, deep breaths.  Must.  Stay.  Calm.  Don't get your hopes up Mark.