I wish I could say half the crap I've been going through in this blog. Problem is it gets pretty nuts and more than a little embarassing. Needless to say I am slowly recovering, but I really hit rock bottom the other day.
But there is one thing I've learned through all this - open up to people. You have no idea how nice people are to you once they realize how much you are struggling. Everyone I know is all like "hang in there" "Im praying for you" "just take it easy buddy" all that stuff. And you'd better believe they'd give me the last pepsi if there was only one left, since afterall, I'm crazy! Why, if I don't get that pepsi I might go and take my life afterall! Here's an example of an msn convo with someone who normally doesn't give a crap about me:

jerk: sup man?
me: oh, ups and downs buddy
jerk: oh ya? busy these days huh?
me: well, to be honest, I am struggling in every area of my life, I just want to kill myself right now
former-jerk: holy s**t man! That's horrible to hear! Just hang in there old friend....maybe you should take some time off school or something...is there anything I can do to help?

That's pretty much my life right now. Don't get me wrong, I don't make crap up to get attention, I really am losing it, I'm just saying it's nice to see how people change when you open up a bit.

note- I'm not saying everyone that cares about me used to be a jerk!  Just that some people who didn't give a fiddler's fart are suddenly my best friends.