This blog entry will be a bit more personal (and longer) than I usually care to get. I realize that people on the internet aren't typically concerned with the intimate details of the lives of other people on the internet. However, recent circumstances (that are not necessary to go into) have prompted me to post this essay here. It is the personal statement that, in addition to a number of other essays, is required of every applicant to medical school. There is no specific question you are required to answer for this statement, although many applicants use it as an opportunity to explain their motivations for a career in medicine. I am not looking for criticisms (constructive or otherwise) or feedback. Please do not comment with messages of good luck or 'I hope you get in!' I would simply like to know what people think:

Few people have one defining moment where they decide, in that instant, their future career path and the possible course for the rest of their lives. Until recently, I could not have claimed such a moment myself. Even as a child, I always knew that I wanted to be a physician. My father is a doctor, and a doctor's job is to help sick people. That's all I needed to know.

That, however, does not make for an interesting story. Nor does it explain or lend context to my passion for medicine. Context can be garnered from a number of experiences throughout my educational career that have gently nudged me closer to a career in the medical field. Although I didn't realize it at the time, growing up with a close family member suffering from Alzheimer's disease taught me patience and understanding. Living and visiting with AIDS patients taught me compassion. Working in an oncology practice showed me that faith can be as influential to health as traditional therapy. My experience as an EMT forced me to think and act quickly under pressure. And my current research develops the interpersonal skills necessary for long-term interaction with patients.

All of these experiences help explain why I am pursuing a career in medicine. Yet, they do not begin to describe my passion for patient care. Despite the positive images these influences have painted of our current health care system, I have also been witness to the negative impact of politics and the media on the medical profession. Doctors are hesitant to care for patients with complex medical problems due to fear of malpractice lawsuits. Many individuals can no longer afford the rising costs of health care and medications, and simple economics are beginning to have a major impact on treatment decisions. Patients are heartbroken when they learn that a new miracle drug advertised on commercials and in the news will not work for them or that their insurance company will not cover the treatment. For all of our nation's advances in health care, universal coverage for all citizens still exists only as an empty promise from campaigning politicians.

Despite these obvious shortcomings, and in part because of them, my desire to become a physician grows continually. I mentioned that, until recently, I had not experienced a moment in which my career path became clear to me. I have simply always wanted to be a physician. Earlier this year, however, my perspective changed when my father suffered a heart attack. As I sat in the emergency room waiting area listening to a cardiologist explain my father's condition to my family, I was overcome with a feeling of utter helplessness. Despite my extensive background in biology, my experience in emergency medical situations, and dealings with other patients' families, I was not prepared to be on the receiving end of the same news I had given previously on multiple occasions. My lack of the specific cardiac knowledge necessary to understand the situation was extremely frustrating and my confusion only increased my feeling of futility.

Following a successful bypass operation, my father spent six months in recovery. An extended hospital stay, medication, and therapy cost more than my father, who was fully insured, could afford. The fact that he works as a physician and Chief of Staff for the hospital at which he was treated merely add to the irony that he was forced to take out loans to pay his medical bills. If physicians cannot afford their own medical care, how can the rest of our country?

I cannot sit on the sidelines of the medical profession as insurance companies force physicians out of private practice, as prescription drug marketing campaigns turn this country into a nation of hypochondriacs, and medical bills become the leading cause of homelessness. I realize that, as a physician, my influence would of course be limited to those in my community and that I may be unable to make the sweeping reforms necessary to improve health care in this country. I would, however, be yet another member of an increasingly vocal profession that maintains patients' rights over financial gain. Whether ingrained or fueled by recent experiences, it is my dream to make a career of helping others, and medicine is the ideal route to realize that dream.