This one I am already memorizing :P

Things not to say to a police officer:

• oink-oink
• no, YOU assume the position
• aren't you the guy from the village people
• I think I saw you get your butt kicked on COPS once
• do you have any idea how late I am??
• Sorry officer, my radar detector must have been turned off
• I thought you were supposed to be in good physical shape to be a police officer
• could you please hold my beer while I reach for my licence?
• could you give me a cavity search please?
• oops..sorry that one is fake..here is the real one
• what exactly is "legally drunk"?
• so how much is a good bribe around here?
• well officer, when I reached down to grab my vodka bottle the gun I had on my lap fell down and got stuck under the gas pedal...that is the only reason I was speeding !!