It's been a while, I think. At least it feels like it's been a while...since I last posted, that is.
Man, what a weekend. And not in a good way. Well, kind of in a good way. I spent the entire wake catching up with all my cousins. We were laughing, downing tons of hard candies, and having an overall good time. But the funeral made me cry, quite a bit. It made everyone cry. I mean, my dad and my uncles and all my cousins. I'd never seen any of them cry before this weekend. But what was great that no matter how sad it was or how much we were crying, the six hours spent at the wake, bonding, prepared us for consoling each other and being all kinds of close all over again on Saturday. That's the one thing I'll never forget. My grandmother's death, no matter how glad we are that she's passed and sad that she's gone, brought us all back together again. All of us cousins were clicking and tight all over again, as though it hadn't been two years. It was beautiful and awesome.
Perhaps the two most heart-wrenchingly sad / poignant moments of Saturday were when all of us cousins (ranging from my 30yo cousin Pete to my 7yo cousin Marc) walked her casket in and then out of the church before and after the Mass, and then when most of us went to the hospital to visit my grandfather (who terribly enough, could not attend the wake/funeral because he had to get the lower half of his left leg amputated due to a blood clot Friday morning) and tell him that Nonna had passed away. We hadn't told him yet because he had to have the surgery. If not, he would have surely died sometime within the next two weeks. We were there, including my dad, his brother, and his two sisters, and they told him. It was so gut-wrenchingly hard to watch him begin to cry, essentially stuck in the hospital bed, in some degree of pain, physically and emotionally. It is the common belief amongst my dad and his fellow siblings that my grandfather got ill because my grandmother did. If she was going to be really sick, he was too. They were going to be in it together. ...He still doesn't know that his leg has been amputated, but he'll find out when the nurses go to change the dressings. That will be a whole other emotional punch to his heart and soul. I've been praying for him ever since Saturday.
I don't know when I'll be able to resume my gaming hobby. I'm certainly not in the mindset to sit there and play my DS, when all I can think about is my grandfather, laying in pain in that hospital bed, all alone, thinking about the fact that his better half has now left him to be in Heaven with God and all the angels. And if that wasn't saddening enough, because I had practically no weekend because I was in Brooklyn nearly the whole time, I still have so much schoolwork to catch up on. I technically shouldn't even be spending the time to type this. Do you think I'm in the mood or mindset to do schoolwork? No, I'm not. I didn't hand in any homework for two of my courses today. Will it hurt me? Probably. But ya know what? I don't care. I'm just in this state of -I don't even know what my current state is. But I do know this weekend has affected me in a very deep way and I have no idea how long it will take to come back to how I was before last Tuesday.
BTW, I apparently dinged lvl17 over the weekend. It was about time. I don't think I ever got all the points I deserved from during that bug/glitch, but I don't really care anymore. So, regardless, go me!
sigh. :|