Last night, I flew from Seattle to New York via Alaska Airlines. While on board, the drink cart came by, and I asked for a Coke. While I'm watching a movie on my computer, she pours the drink, then hands it to me and asks me neighbor what they want. I took one sip of this drink, and it was clearly not Coke.

I kindly asked the flight attendant to take the drink back and give me a Coke, to which she responded, "That is Coke." I assured her that she was mistaken, as I always get a Coca-Cola on flights to ease my stomach. After this offering, she looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Trust me, that's Coke!"

Heh, heh. Knowing how full of **** she was, I made her produce a Coke can for review, and she pulled out not a Coke can, but a Jones Soda 'Cola' drink. Apparently, Alaska Airlines has gone all f'ing hippy on me and stopped carrying the American traditional cola, Coke, but instead only carries Jones 'Cola.' I taught that **** the error of her ways and made her pour me a ginger ale. It's not that I don't like Jones Soda, I actually think it's pretty good; but when I ask for a Coke, and you, an agent of the company I paid $450 to for cross-country travel, assure me that the beverage filling the cup in my hands is Coke, there had better DAMN well be ******* Coke in that cup!!!

Oh, btw, Merry Christmas, yo.