Had a bit of a scare the other day.

I have a bit of an interesting situation going with my girlfriend. We've been going out for a little more than 2 years now, but it's all been under the noses of my family. See, they're not the type to approve of her, so I'd rather not even involve them in the situation. However, I'm a college student who lives with my parents. So, they're pretty much aware of everything I do. It's been a real chore keeping my relationship under wraps, but I make it work somehow. She lives about 10 minutes away and it's kind of like a second house to me because I spend most of time there.

Here's the thing, I've been pretty careless when it comes to actually having sex. I almost never buy rubbers, she buys them usually and if she doesn't have any on her, well I don't use anything. Naturally, this is a recipe for disaster, but nothing bad has happened, so I just don't worry about it.

But the other day, she tells me those terrible words associated with her period and I literally flipped my **** You have to understand, I'm an extremely calm person and the only people I ever yelled at are my parents. I'm never panicked, worried or stressed about anything. But this just got my mind racing.

For one thing, I can't keep a baby from my parents. And, because they're still supporting me, that would turn into a very bad situation for me. They have explicitly stated if I do something not to their liking, they'll kick me out. Second, I'm in my second year of college, I don't have a degree. Which means I wouldn't be able to get a job that would sustain both me, Amanda and a kid. More than likely I would drop out off college in order to get a full time job. She was trying to be a chef last time I checked, but I assume that dream would go down the toilet as well.

I mean, to top it all off, I'm just not ready to be a parent. So, all of that just dawned on me the second she told me she might be pregnant, and I started yelling at her. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was my fault, but at that moment I was so mad that I couldn't really think straight and I had to yell at someone. She didn't say a single word the whole time I was yelling. She kind of just absorbed it all. I ended up making her cry though, and I felt really bad about it afterwards, but I just couldn't contain myself because my life was just going OK and all of a sudden my world gets shattered.

I ended up leaving her house and not talking to her again for a few days. I was just contemplating what to do, and I almost told my parents but I realized it was going to be a huge waste of time, and it was only going to hurt me in the end.

So, I did the only thing I could think of and I just pulled myself together. I decided I was going to have to drop out of college, there was no way out of that. But, I might be able to get a halfway decent job somewhere if I started looking hard. I figured I'd have to either move in to her house (not sure what the deal with her roommates was though) or find a small apartment in which I could support all of us. I'd probably end up selling all of my crap, video games, TV, whatever I could get money for. She would probably have to put her associate's degree to use and find a meaningful job as well.

It wasn't going to be pretty but I was going to make it work somehow. At that point, she wasn't returning my calls or talking to me, probably because I yelled at her. But, I drove to her house, and told her what was going to have to happen. I was laying down the hammer really, because she's way more irresponsible than me. No more smoking, drinking, recreational drugs, late nights, whatever it is for her. For the most part, she understood. I swear though, I was hoping she'd interrupt me and say "I'm not pregnant." But after a few hours of talking to her I realized she was absolutely convinced she was pregnant at this point.

I was like, damn, I'm going to miss my PS3. Everything was as fine as it was going to get, and she seemed OK with it. We both were kind of angry, me moreso than her, so we had sort of aggression relieving sex that night. And no, I didn't use a rubber, because what was the point, right?

A little while after that though, she called me up on my cell and was like "I'M NOT PREGNANT!" at the top of her lungs. The relief, you know, it was crazy. I never felt more relaxed than I do right now, because after that scare, I realize I have it pretty good and I don't really have anything to worry about.

Though I will say, I haven't had sex in a little more than a month and a half and she's in Canada for awhile so that's got me down. She hasn't been the mood since that scare, so I guess I'll have to wait it out.