A thunderbolt rippled through the Heavens with a crash.

"Oh yeah!" Ares groaned with a smug expression. "Did the sky move for you, too?"

"Told you I could teach you a few new tricks," Discord said with a feline smile of her own.

"You are... fiendishly inventive," Ares granted her graciously. "There's no denying your many talents."

"I'm glad you think so, because I've got a new one I want to try."

"I'm there!" Ares told her a bit too eagerly. The God was insatiable, whether for love or war.

"That's not the talent that I'm talking about," she informed him with a pout. Men's minds had only one track, but she had hoped that the foreplay would have derailed him for at least a few minutes! "Don't worry, you'll like this better. I have the perfect way to spark off that war you wanted between Athens and Sparta. Think of it, the two biggest cities of Greece fighting for control of the rest! All the little cities will be swept into picking sides, and you know Corinth, Argos and Thebes will be just waiting for their chance to do a some backstabbing to make their own way into power , and that means even more wars!

"They'll be falling like dominoes!" she exclaimed, more passionate, more excited by the prospective bloodbath than she'd been moments before in Ares' bed. Fortunately for the macho God's ego, he was just as enthralled by the thought of all that carnage and didn't notice. But the afterglow was already fading.

"I hate to break it to you, but as much as I enjoy playing naked twister with you, it's not enough to get the job. You know I already told Strife and Deimos that this war was their baby."

"That was days ago, and there's barely even been a few harsh words spoken between the two cities! I haven't even see a Spartan dog chasing an Athenian cat! Come on Ares, give me a shot at it. You know I could do this for you ten times better than both of those losers together!"

"Discord, while I appreciate your... enthusiasm, this is a done deal. Strife promised he'd have the Athenians attacking the Spartans at Sphacteria by this very afternoon, and Deimos has General Brasidas poised to strike Decelea at the same time. So it looks like your afternoon will be free, if you'd like to find another way to prove your talent to me..."

Discord was too furious to answer. She disappeared with a flash. Ares gave a mental shrug as he reclined back on his silken sheets. It wasn't as if he was hurting for companionship, after all. He snapped his fingers and his deliciously naughty head priestess entered the chamber wearing a few crimson straps of leather, stiletto heels, and little else.

"You wanted me, Ares?"

Ares grinned. It was good to be an Olympian God.

"It's not fair!" Discord snarled to her reflection in the Olympian Powder Room. "I give Ares my all, and it's never enough!"

"Do you know what your problem is?" Aphrodite asked as she lounged in a bubbling hot tub.

For once it didn't sound as if the Goddess of Love was attempting to wage a war of words with her, so Discord decided to listen to what she had to say, though she was ready to trade insults at the first sign of hostilities.

"Your problem is that you give Ares too much. He's totally taking you for granted! He knows that all he has to do is whistle and you'll come barking."

"Where did you hear about that?!" Discord demanded with outrage. Probably Deimos sneaking and peeking again. It was as close as the drip was ever going to get to getting any!

"Ew, never mind that," Aphrodite said with a shudder. That was the last time she tried using a metaphor on Discord. There were things the Goddess of Love really didn't need to know.

"Look, if you really want to get Ares' attention, cut him off! No more nookie 'til you get your cookie, or whatever."

"You know, that actually sounds like a good idea," Discord mused.

"Of course it is!" Aphrodite exclaimed. Talk about a Goddess not getting her props! Not everything people said about blondes was true! Oh, the having more fun part, and gentlemen (and not so gentle men) preferred them, but the dumb part? As if! The Goddess of Love wasn't a total ditz! She played dumb once in awhile to make some man do what she wanted so that she didn't have to risk her own dainty little fingers, but Discord should know that manipulation takes tons of brains! Well, maybe not in Discord's case, but still!

The Goddess of Mayhem couldn't have cared less about stroking the other Goddess' ego. She was too busy sending her twisted little mind down the labyrinthine paths of mischief. But soon she groaned aloud as she realized it couldn't really be that easy.

Strife and Deimos already had Ares' full attention, and all they needed was one crumby little war to keep it indefinitely. Discord could tell Ares where to stick it all day long and the God wouldn't care less. Truthfully, he got off more on carnage than carnality.

"It won't work," Discord told Aphrodite. "Ares is going to be so wrapped up in this war between Athens and Sparta that he's never going to notice if I'm not around."

"Then you're just going to have to stop the war from happening," Aphrodite told her with a shrug. By the Heavens and her own very Heavenly Body, did she have to do all of Discord's thinking for her?

"Stop it? How?!" Discord asked in wonderment. It was such a novel idea. She'd started hundreds of wars in her time, but she'd never prevented one from taking place. She was Discord, after all! But she loved the idea, strange as it was. There'd be discord aplenty if she get make Strife and his idiotic twin screw up Ares' plans. Then the God would have to admit that he should have listened to her!

"If you want to get a man's attention you have to prove to him that you're the one holding the leash," Aphrodite said.

"I thought you said you didn't want to talk about that..."

"That's not what I mean!" Aphrodite hurriedly broke in. "I mean that what works on Ares will work even better on the Athenian and Spartan men, especially if I amp up their libidos with a my Powers. You know their women don't want their men away fighting some stupid, pointless war, so get them to help. Tell them all to refuse to let their men have any until the declare Peace."

"That's... brilliant!"

"Thanks," Aphrodite preened. "I've been saving that one for a special occasion. But I'll let you use it if you tell Ares that this time, you're working for me. He's such a chauvinist pig, it's time we cut him down to size with some gurrl power!"

"You got yourself a deal!" Discord told her with a fiendish grin, extending her hand so that they could shake on it.

Aphrodite hesitated for a heartbeat before clasping the lesser Goddess' hand. She knew where it had been, after all. But she could fumigate it later. Right now it was more important to show solidarity with her temporary partner.

"You go, gurrl!" she told Discord brightly.

Discord's feral grin widened, and she popped out of sight accompanied by the sound of an alley cat's snarl. She had a busy day of mischief ahead of her.

Discord gathered all the women of Athens and Sparta together and told them of their plan to stop the war. Except for a few weary women who had secretly been viewing the absence of their "Lord and Masters" as a vacation, they all agreed to help out. There was even a bawdy house madam who looked astonishingly like Ares' favorite warrior bimbo that volunteered her services, and that of all her girls.

Discord had jumped at the proposal. Nothing like having the easiest lay in town telling a guy to forget about it to drive this particular point home!

"All right, do you ladies know what to do?" Discord asked the band of trollops Meg had collected.

"Oh yeah..." breathed one of the tarts as if she had a customer in front of her jingling a pouch full of dinars at her.

"No sweat, me and the girls know how to handle this," Meg assured the Goddess.

"No! No handling, capice? The idea is to drive them wild and leaving them hanging! They need to be revved up with no place to go," Discord repeated. She couldn't believe that she was risking everything on these good time girls. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and this time they had brought her the strangest bedfellows of all.

"Don't worry about getting them revved up," Aphrodite told the lesser Goddess. "After all, they'll have all the help they need from moi."

An entire army, while undoubtedly full of horny guys who would love to celebrate life the old fashioned way before leaving to fight, could easily hold onto their discipline even in the face of Meg's finest. But with Aphrodite zapping the men's libidos so that the more the girls said no, the more desperate they'd become to score, it was a cinch. They'd lay down their arms in order to get laid themselves, and agree to anything the Goddesses demanded for the privilege. The poor saps had no choice.

Discord marshaled her troops, splitting the tarts into two phalanxes, one aimed at the Athenians, and the other at the Spartans. Aphrodite popped out to start zapping the soldiers into a frenzy of horniness even as the ladies readied themselves with their best dresses and perfumes.

"All right, move out" Discord ordered when she finished inspecting their ranks.

"Onwards Virgin Soldiers, marching as to War..." the tarts sang as they marched down the street. It seemed strange that these trollops knew the words to Hestia's favorite hymn, but they certainly sang it with gusto!

"Hey boys, whatcha doing with those really, really big spears?" one of Meg's floozies called out to the soldiers marching by. The Lieutenant in charge started to order his men to keep their eyes to the front and ignore her, but he was suddenly overcome with an irresistible urge to respond to her instead.

"Well, we got us a little business to take care of with Sparta, but since it might be the last time some of us get the chance to... talk with such beautiful girls, I guess we can put it off for say, half an hour?" he told her, jingling his pouch meaningfully. His men cheered at the unexpected but welcome suggestion of their commanding officer, but it seemed that they let out that ejaculation prematurely.

"Don't forget what them Goddesses said!" Syrinx whispered to her fellow working girls.

The others nodded. None of them were stupid enough to want to risk the wrath of Aphrodite or Discord. Who knew what fiendish punishments they'd inflict if they blew it? Fortunately, not blowing it was all they had to do.

"Sorry fellas, but we're all under strict orders. All soldiers are off limits. If you want to get laid, you have to lay down your swords," Syrinx said.

"Yeah, sheath those swords!" Auleto told them.

"That's what we're trying to do," one of the soldiers piped up to declare, but the girls knew that this was their cue to leave. They sashayed away, making sure to shake their money makers so that the men's regret would grow upon then tenfold. Between the sight of so much fragrant, tender flesh, the lure of the unattainable, and Aphrodite's spell, the men were all stiffer than tent poles, and no likely means of relief seemed handy. One fellow excused himself to say hello to the bushes, and was further dismayed when the second half of Aphrodite's curse became rapidly apparent. It seemed that anyone who tried to take matters into their own hands found no relief, just increased frustration. It seemed the only possible satisfaction was to be found in a woman's arms, and they weren't interested!

With nothing better to do, the troop continued their march to the Athenian camp, only to discover that they weren't the only ones to find themselves afflicted. Phalanx after phalanx marched in with their spears quivering at the ready. The entire male species seemed to be affected by the Goddess' curse!

The Athenian General consulted with his officers, then decided to send a herald to request a temporary truce with the Spartans. His men were in no fit shape to fight, and the thought of mounting his horse was too much to bear.

The herald soon discovered that the Spartans had been hit with the same affliction, though at first they attempted to claim that what he was seeing beneath their chitons was merely the herald staff all Spartans carried to help decode secret messages. The Athenian laughed and said that he must be a Spartan, too, because he had a herald staff just as ready for duty as theirs. There was no denying it, so a truce was declared, pending a resolution to their mutual problem.

The two Generals each went separately to one of Aphrodite's shrines to petition her favor (as well as the favors of some of her devotees!), but she told them that she would only listen to them if they petitioned her together. She knew there's never be a lasting peace if they tried to cut a deal with her individually. They hear to hear each other admit defeat to take it seriously.

So Generals Cleon and Brasidas reluctantly agreed to meet at Aphrodite's main temple. She popped into the shrine with Discord by her side, and the spell they were under made the Goddess' manifest charms almost more than they could bear. They quickly began bidding for their favors.

"Isn't there some way we can come to an agreement, most wonderful of Olympian Goddesses?" General Cleon begged. "Say, ten percent of all our new revenues off Spartan territory?"

"I vow fifteen," Brasidas declared laconically.

"A man of few words, and one who knows what a girl wants. I'm flattered, really. But no can do, stud muffins. I'm the Goddess of Love, and sometimes love hurts," she told them as she glanced downwards at their obviously painful state. "And by the way your soldiers are standing at attention, I'd say it's gotta be hurting pretty bad right now!"

Discord snickered. "You boys are just going to have to decide which sword you'd rather play with."

"I know you boys like to have it both ways, but a girl needs commitment. So, what's it gonna be? Love, or War?" asked Aphrodite.

The two Generals looked at each other helplessly. War meant power, wealth, and fame, but what did all that mean if they'd never get laid again? Or were able to achieve some "self preservation"? A man could still be a man without a sword, but not without "his sword"!

"You win, Aphrodite, Discord. It's time to give peace a chance."

"Ditto," the Spartan agreed, nodding his shaggy head.

"And now, can we please get some?!" the Athenian begged shamelessly, clearly in dire need of immediate relief.

Aphrodite smiled smugly and snapped her fingers. A dozen of Meg's finest appeared as if from a dream, cooing and petting the Generals until they thought they'd go mad. But this time was no tease, as they found to their immense satisfaction a short time later.

"You incompetents! You'll never become real Gods if you let a little obstacle like that stop you."

"Oh, it wasn't so little with that Spartan, Unc" Deimos giggled with a wide gesture at his crotch. "He could have taken on an entire phalanx with that pike of his!"

Strife, being marginally smarter than his twin, gave him a sharp elbow to the ribs. He knew that Ares really didn't want to hear about the General's equipment, he wanted to know how they planned to get the men back on the battlefield where they belonged.

Unfortunately, Strife had no idea how he was going to make that happen. The Athenians and Spartans were in the middle of a week long debauch in honor of Aphrodite. Their swords were going to be sheathed at every chance they got for days at least, and not one man seemed to be thinking about everything else.

"Get out of my sight!" Ares thundered. The nitwits had not only failed him, they'd made him look bad in the process! What self respecting God of War wanted to be told by his supposedly most devoted followers that they preferred conquest in the bedroom to the battlefield, and that they feared the wrath of the Goddess of Love more than him?!

He heard someone clear her throat behind him.

"Told you that you should have given me a chance," Discord purred from the doorway of Ares' bedroom. She was wearing a lacy black negligee she'd copied from one of Aphrodite's vanity drawers. She turned around, and sauntered back into the bedroom. "Coming?" she called back teasingly over her shoulder.

Ares glared at the little minx's retreating backside, but even he couldn't fight a war all by himself. Discord had won this round in the battle of the sexes, but Ares was confident that in the end, he'd win the war. In the meantime, they could both share the fruits of victory, Ares thought as he loosened his sword belt. He had a sword ready to be sheathed, as well.