*Edward Norton starts to talk*
"So, let me get this straight here. You.......are trying to find a castle of another blogger on the site of Gamespot?"
Yessir. His name is Video Game King. You see, I started to copy his blogging methods, and the dude just went nutso. Then, he did the unthinkable and kidnapped Jeff Goldblum. Now, we are at war I guess, as I try to rescue Jeff. And, you guys are one of a select many that will join me. You up for it?
"You see this face? You see the fire in my eyes? Hell yes I'm ready. I'm up for anything. I'll curb stomp any son of a b*tch that tries to get in my wa--"
Oooookkk, there. Starting to get me a little freaky-zeeky:?. That curb stomp in American History X left me in paralysis. One of the most shocking scenes I have ever seen in cinema.
*Guy Pearce comes into conversation*
"I'd have to agree with the Colonel. Ed, that movie was a masterpiece man. You really got your acting down in that flick.
"Thanks man. Appriciate the compliment. You know, you did an amazing job in Memento as well. Definately a superb thinking movie. Man, I can't believe we're actually joining forces with each other. It's mindboggling to think--"
*Steve Guttenburg interrupts...........with his shirt off:?*
"AW MAN!!! That movie DEFINATELY left my brain with brainfreeze. It was so confusing, that I shut it off right in the middle!"
"Colonel. Why the hell did you invite this lame excuse of a performance artist and his cliched, predictable dialogue with us?"
Idk. He seemed like he was fit enough to fight in an army, so I thought, hey? Why not?
*Christian Bale argues*
"But just look at him. He's got to be the goofiest mother f*cker I've ever seen in movies, AND in real life. Always has that f*cking smile on that sorry excuse for a babyface. Plus, all of his family films are half-assed hackjobs that even pronstars could've acted better in."
"Hey Batman guy. Shut up! You're a stupid poopy head."
"I see your point Bale. Dude should be shoved off of a cliff with a message stapled to his numbskull brain, saying how much of a dumbass he is. Colonel, what are we going to do?"
Well, first of all, I'm going to get my regular hooplah aside first before we continue, aight?
"Sure thing. Carry on."
So, since Monday, I've been gaming like a madman all of a sudden. First of all, I got two games beaten: Cold Fear (finally) and, surprisingly, a game I haven't played since 2005, but picked up and beat: Dino Crisis 2. Yep, so those are now out of my Now Playing list, making it more free of space. Oh, and you can always see the score I gave them too, if you want. As for other games, I've been leveling up a little bit in Final Fantasy XII, messing with bunnies after about a 2 month halt with Rayman: Raving Rabbids, boxing like Rocky in Wii Sports (BTW, I didn't know it existed on the game, but I actually got Platinum on the punching bag training game:D ), and even playing a little bit of Mercenaries on Resident Evil 4. I'm sure I'll be gaming a LOT more in the next few days, but it's been nice so far:).
As for movies, I finally watched The Straight Story. Here's the score:
The Straight Story--8.5/10
*Guy Pearce suddenly interrupts*
"Uhh, Colonel. You might want to take a look at what this clown is doing now."
Steve! WTF are you doing? Why are you.........hugging that shrub?
"Because I LOVE nature! Nature is just like family! I learned that with many of the family movies I played in. Not to mention the Olsen Twins helped me figure that out."
"Can I just shoot this fruitcake now, or do we have to wait until he gets murdered 'accidently' at VGK's castle?"
*A shot fires, and Steve Guttenburg's head explodes*
What the....? Who the hell did that?
"Yeah, that just happened so suddenly. It was a relief, but who fired the shot?"
*Johnny Depp appears out of the shadows*
"Hello gentlemen. I couldn't help oversee your little 'companion' needed to be neutered. So, I decided to do a little favor, since I respect all of you men. You guys are quite the actors."
"Well, lookie here. What a sight for sore eyes. Someone with enough balls to just randomly shoot a man without any permission or opinion to argue against it."
But.......STEVE WAS USEFUL!!!! :cry: He was so buff, and in shape!
"Colonel....Pork, is it? Well, Colonel, you really shouldn't be complaining. Sure, the man (if you could call an immature schmuck like that a 'man' ) had a nice physique, but really? Do you think that he would be capable of completing a tactical mission as the one you men are trying to persue? Just think of his loss as a gain for you, because I am willing to join you to take his place on your quest. Trust me, I am quite useful."
Well, I guess I could--
"What do you mean you 'guess?' This is Johnny Depp here speaking with us! Why, I've seen his abilities in the past two decades, and trust me, this is the type of guy we need in our presence. He is perfect. And even if he turns out to be a scrub like Goofyburg was, you've got me, Guy, and Christian that can take him out. You see what I'm saying?"
*sigh* FINE! I guess you've got a point there Ed. Dude is sharper than a needle.
"Damn straight I am. I can be quite the zinger when it comes to these types of situations. See, right now one of VGK's little, worthless, not-so- important spy minions is about 3 feet away from us in that bush over there in an attack stance, thinking that I don't know it's there. But when I point my gun in that direction, and pull the trigger--"
*shoots the little, 2 foot tall imp in the heart as it tries to sneak away after being unnexpectedly discovered*
"--all doubts are eliminated."
*everybody looks towards the dead imp*
"Wow. That was bloody impressive if I do say so myself. I've never seen such pistol-whipping skills as that. Beautiful aiming precision."
"Yup. Just the man we need. So, Colonel, what's the plan now? Now that we have Depp on our side, replacing Goofyburg, where do we go from here."
Well, since Gerald Butler's Spartan army went toward the west to fight, I guess that's the direction we have to take. It shouldn't be too far, probably another 150 miles ahead, since an imp was about to attack us, and I thought I could faintly hear Gerald's ear-shattering screaming, so we must be getting close. Who knows? Maybe we'll find other allies to join with us. Hell, maybe we'll even run into Richard Farnsworth on the way, since he was going to try and find Gerald and confront him for bashing his movie--
*Guy Pearce interrupts again*
"But I thought he died in October of 2000. Yeah, I remember hearing about it in Hollywood at the time. Very devastating news it was. I hear he was quite the stuntman back in his days..."
*I crap my pants in fear* How nice. Now I'm being haunted by friggin ghosts that ask for friggin directions:evil:...........OK, well, with that realization behind me, let's just head off to claim our glory and rescue Jeff Goldblum, aight?
*everyone starts humming the tune of "Do You Have Room For Jeff Goldblum" as they frolic off toward the west*
Until Next Time, LATA!