it's TEA TIME. Anyone who gets that will recieve a complimentary basket of fried fetus's crisps from yours truly.

So on to the meat. Why haven't I posted anything for such a long time? I don't know. Anyways, today I will be talking about Capsule Computers, or Capcom as most of ya'll would call it. I'm sure you guy's, and you lovely ladies (see, I'm not sexist), have realized that Capcom has recently released two very big games. They are; Halo 2 and Gears of War 7, that's how you say it in Japanese I believe, but here in America (where we allow gay buttsecks) they are known as Street Fighter 4 and Resident Evil 5.

I will not be getting either. Stop choking on your gasp and hear me out. Yes I adore Street Fighter (I still play SF3: 3rd Strike), and the Resident Evil series has always been great, but I know Capcom like the back of my buttocks and I know what they're doing. First of all let me discuss SF4. I don't have the money for an arcade stick and I refuse to play a 2D fighting game with the craptastic 360 controller's d-pad, but my lack of an arcade stick may change depending on BlazBlue. Now that sounds like a "not-getting-because-no-money" arguement, it is, but there is another factor.

^ cannot afford.

How many versions of SF2 are there? Seven at least. SF3? Three versions. Alpha series? Lots as well. There will be another version of SF4 in the future. Garunteed. Capcom will either make character balances (they could do that with online patching though) or they will just simply make another version that has an exclusive character or some crap like that. This is Capcom, making one version of a game is not their styIe. So to all of ya'll who already bought SF4, enjoy, I'll be enjoying my SF4: Championship Edition (or whatever it'll be called) that has T Hawk in it... and costs only $40.

Now let's talk about Resident Evil 5. Ok well we got a good game here, no doubt, but I won't be adding it to my library. Firstly, RE5 has lost the campy vibe of the RE series. It just looks like the story is actually GOOD. The characters appear to be thought out, the plot seems to make sense, and overall story-wise it seems actually decent. Anything more than a laughably bad plot and 'funny-for-the-wrong-reasons' voice acting in an RE game just seems weird to me. I'm willing that there is not a single line in RE5 half as hysterical as Barry's "You were almost a Jill sandwich" or Luis's "I see the president has equipped his daughter, with ballistics."

Similar to SF4, RE5 will have another version released later on. I'm not so certain about this, but this is Capcom we're talking about. Also, the online versus mode that you have to purchase thing. Let me just say this first, Capcom is the only developer that can get away with something like this. People are going to buy this versus mode no matter what it is priced and Capcom knows this, so that's why they do it. now go back a bit, imagine RE4 with DLC. That game seems perfect for DLC right, some new weapons, a new area, a few new enemies and Capcom would of made tons of dough, fortunately RE4 couldn't connect to the internet in any way, so our wallets were safe.

^ RE4 thankfully had that

But RE5 is totally different. I think Capcom is going to ride the DLC cart through the whole mine with this game, just look at the versus mode. I for one am kind of sick of Capcom doing this major milkage to us. Then Capcom will release a RE5 Special Edition for 30 bucks that has all the DLC on it and some new content, and it will take a shat on the standard RE5 version... you know... kind of like how the GC version of RE4 got shat on by all the other versions after it.

So yeah, there you have it. I won't be smacking people around with Chun-Li's spinning bird kick or blasting crazy infected Africans with shotguns... for a while. I mean I'll be getting these eventually, you knew that the whole time. But I'm not paying more than 40 dollars for both of them combined. Well, I'm off to search for those rascaly golden knickers.