Alrighty, so I run on a special graf-only calender that says that the next year starts on the onset of March and not the first of January. With that said, 2011 was a pretty great year. Unless you think it wasn't, then I guess that's just too bad for you.

Portal Integerinbetweenoneandthree came out and every and their grandmas played it, besides me because I was too busy playing the build of Half-Life 3 that Mr. Newell sent me. It wasn't very good; spoilers. While we are on the subject of Valve, my team of ninja spies reported back to me that Valve, Google, and Exxon Mobile are going to merge and initiate Project 2502. They called it Hyron at first, but they realized it was a poorly done reference to an obscure Greek word for shrine so they decided to be sci-fi nerds and went with the current name. Project 2502 is a very complicated and devious plan. The impact it will have on our modern global civilization is indecipherable. It could change the very universe. God himself will be challenged.

Project 2502 is a plan to make real-life versions of Team Fortress 2 hats. I have a bunker full of duct tape, MREs, and a rubik cube; I'm ready, are you?

Also, my spies told me Sony was behind their own hacking. It was Kaz Hirai's final test to become CEO of the company. I guess he succeeded, good for him. Sony also did some other stuff, like release the PS VITAMIN. It's a medicine dispenser that you attach to your belly button. Whenever you are feeling anything, it stabs you with a syringe filled of heavy-metals, light-metals, and other electronic-waste refuse. Comes in both 3-gee and why-phi. I got a Nintendo 3DS instead because I love rushed hardware that is released far too early. I got Lumines: MORE BEATZ for it, which is a pretty cool game. Too bad I need to buy the Secondary Analog Nub 32x to properly play it.

Intermission (actually I ran out of ideas so I went to go play some Dustforce. Thought up some more stuff, returned.)

Anyways, last year Assassins Creed III came out. It is set in the United States during the Revolutionary War. In it you play as Benjamin Franklin and kill Native Americans with your superior technology. Bethesda, who makes the Assassins Creed games, should of just made another Assassins Creed game where you play as Ezio Audiotoreallydouchebagguy instead.

Capcom released Skyrim last year. It sounds like a porn game but instead you run around and shout at dragons. I did not play it. Because I want Capcom to make another 'good' fighting game, like a sequel to Marvel versus Capcom 2. In fact, Capcom should release the vanilla version early in the year, then the inevitable upgraded Super/Ultimate/Championship version only a few months later! Wow, what a great idea, I think I'll skip the vanilla version, as it will obviously be broken and terribly unbalanced. The upgraded version with all the tweaks and changes will be so much better... but for some reason I get this feeling tha- LEVEL 4 X-FACTOR TAKING YOU TO 8.95fm RADIO, WHERE WE SERVE UP AN HOUR OF COMBO HIT-SCALING FREE OPTION-SELECT MIXUPS.

Also in 2011, this anime game came out where you play as this guy who has these nightmares about climbing blocks. The nightmares are metaphors about how you are trying to escape your mother's basement but you only have your own tears to defend yourself. Its a good thing you find this scepter with a talking skull on it that can transform into three different weapons; the Arch, Gale, and Veil. Each weapon is tied to a different gang that you will eventually take over using the power of the color purple and your various homies. These homies are placed in a pseudo open-world, which is not as tightly designed as the hub world from the first game.

Lastly, Rock of Ages was a game where you play as a very masculine witch. You have two swords and yellow eyes. There is a large man who did stuff that you are chasing. It was a great game. Too bad my laptop caught fire when I tried to run it even at low settings, which in turn lead me to not finish it yet. Perhaps I will in 2012.

I don't care about anything anymore. Except the new Knights of the Old Republic 3: MMO Version update. It has taken over my life. I don't go to cIasses anymore. I barely even eat. There's just so much trolling to be done concerning it that I can't let up for even a second. Do you play it? If so, I am laughing at you now, although I'm probably asleep. But I'm still laughing. In my dreams. Yes, in my dreams I am laughing.

Games of the video; I play them.