Greetings. It's hard to describe the feeling when we were told that with the release of the Wii U and 3DS, that within the coming months we would be getting another Super Smash Bros game. A lot of us were given the impression that Brawl was the last, and of course the news flooded our gaming hearts with joy. And behind the excitement, there comes another aspect, with Nintendo keeping signifigant developments regarding the game to a minimum, and wasting some of said developments on obvious givens (did we really need to be told Luigi was confirmed?), it leaves a whole lot of room for speculation amongst the fans at whom, for example, is going to be joining the roster.

So across gaming website, Youtube, ect, you'll find a lot of people giving their own opinions/predictions on who should make it into the final roster for Super Smash Bros. However, that's not what I'm going for with this particular blog. These are the top ten, from least to greatest, characters I wish people would shut the f#%k about including into the next game. There are certain characters that everyone seems to say should be included, that quite frankly, I'm getting sick of seeing over and over again. We were already told the game's character roster probably isn't going to exceed that of Brawls 35, so with every new character added that means we're going to be losing a character that we've grown attached to in earlier games. And not only that, some of these characters being requested are generally just annoying for various reasons. That's not to say I dislike any of these characters mentioned, I simply don't see why they should have a place in this game.

A quick disclaimer, this post is based on my opinion. You may or may not agree with me about any of these claims, but know this. I'm well aware that I'm no more in charge of who's going to make it into the actual final roster than any of the people who have requested these characters. People are allowed to state their opinions, and all I'm doing is stating my opinions on their opinions. So if I at all come off as rude, my apologies.

Without further ado, let's get on with the list.

Number Ten Character: Bomber Man Franchise: Bomber Man

I like Bomber Man. He's a cool little guy who heavily influenced my gaming life as a child. But would I want to play as him in Super Smash Bros? Hell no! The reason? What does Bomber Man do? He throws bombs. That would be his only means for attack, and that's simply not enough to work with the build a stand alone character. Not to mention, Bomber Man isn't really Nintendo-ey enough. He's made appearances on consoles for Sony and Microsoft in addition to Nintendo, and we know third party characters are going to be kept to a minimum, so why waste one of the few third party characters on a trivial piece of filler like Bomber Man? If he's to have presence in the game at all, it should just be an assist trophy, where he'll,,,, um. Throw bombs. Because that's pretty much all he does.

Number Nine Character: Zael & Aeron Franchise: The Last Story & Pandora's Tower respectively

This one's going to need some explaining. I like both characters. There is obviously a lot of history behind their games with the whole Operation Rainfall event where North Americans had to beg and plead for three games, Xenoblade Chronicles, The Last Story, and Pandora's Tower, to be released in the United States. I'm going to try not to let my opinion on each of the games get into this too much, but I guess I may have to in order to make a point. I personally loved Xenoblade Chronicles. It is my most favorite video game to date, so it would overjoy me if I saw Shulk, the main protanogist, enter the roster along with a stage based off the beautiful Bionis Leg and a handful of the game's truly kick-ass music. The only problem is, thinking about it rationally, I know its not going to happen. Considering how hard we had to try to get the game at all, there's no way Nintendo would give the game representation just because the few fans that did enjoy the game in its really limited release would want that. And I believe the same goes for Zael and Aeron, unfortunately. Plus, if Shulk were to be included, people would most likely get angry that Zael and Aeron weren't included as well. Not to mention, all Zael would be able to do based off his game was use a wind based slashing attack, or make his arm glow blue and make everything on screen go and attack him, which obviously wouldn't be very useful. Aeron is even worse off, only able to grapple at things with a chain and slash with his sword. Look, we got the three games. Leave it at that.

Numer Eight Character: Zoroark Franchise: Poke'mon

I'll admit that I haven't touched to Poke'mon Black / White games as of yet, but still it bugs me how people keep requesting Zoroark over and over again. I get it, he was the first Poke'mon to be revealed from Gen V, basically filling in Lucario's presence. But what made Lucario okay for entering Brawl's roster was a number of things. First of all, his design and move set was similar to that of Mewtwo who appeared previously in Melee, so people were already famililar with Lucario's fighting style. Second, in the actual Diamond / Pearl / Platinum games, Lucario was widely avaliable to anyone. You walk someone through a cave of trainers, and after you get them out, they award you with one egg, a Riolou, that evolves into Lucario. Is it that easy to obtain Zoroark? Ummmm. No. To get Zorua, the pre-evolution, you're required to have a Fateful Encounter Celebi, which you would have had to be big on stopping at Gamestop while they were holding promotions and download from Mystery Gift. And to get Zoroark himself, you needed to have a shiny Legendary dog obtained in the same manner. So if you weren't one of those people lucky enough to get those promotinal Poke'mon who want to obtain a Zoroark legitimately, unless you see one pop up on the trade station, you're screwed. Zoroark not being as widely available as Lucario makes him a far lesser icon of his corresponding generation. Not to mention with Mewtwo gaining two new Mega Evolutions, and Sakurai stating himself that he has interest in bringing him back, that further slashes Zoroark's chances. Unless, he were to replace that stupid pink puff that never should have made it to the first game, I guess I would be fine with that.

Number Seven Character: Shadow the Hedgehog Franchise: Sonic the Hedgehog

For the love of god, people! Shut the hell up about Shadow! First of all, we were lucky to be granted access to Sonic in Brawl. Second of all, third party characters are never going to be given second representation. It doesn't make any sense. And even if they were, what's all this about people being fed up with clones? It has been proven that Shadow is pretty much nothing more than a darker, more sinister version of Sonic. His move set would be pretty much the same, save for possibly a different Final Smash or other minute differences. Besides, Shadow was given representation in the form of an Assist Trophy with his Chaos Control attack, that oughta be enough. In the slim chance that all this stuff about keeping third party characters to a minimum is thrown out the window like a cigarette but, Tails is next in line! He was always Sonic's faithful sidekick, and the third character to be added after Eggman. Plus, he would be more distinct, not relying so much on spinning around and instead recovering to the stage with a his flying ability, fake item boxes, or some of the mechs he's built. There's far more possibility for a different functioning character than Shadow, and while he may not be as popular with the fans, he was simply there before Shadow. But none of this really matters, because even though Nintendo and Sega have a partnership right now with three games, its still up in the clouds whether or not Sonic will even be returning. I personally hope he does, but his status as a third party character feels like it could be a one-game thing, and if it is, there's absolutely no reason to request Shadow either.

Number Six: Character: Geno Franchise: Super Mario RPG

Where do I begin. Oh, SHUT THE HELL UP! Do you even know who Geno is? Didn't think so. He's a special character that appears in Super Mario RPG, you know, the Mario game that nobody played. Just because the few people who did hunt that game down and play it, doesn't mean we need to include this really ackward looking puppet thing into our game. He serves no purpose in the Nintendo universe, and similarly serves no purpose in the upcoming Smash Bros game. Not only that, counting Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Yoshi, and Wario, we already have technically have EIGHT characters from the Mario universe! I get it, Nintendo is called the house of Mario for a reason, but come on. It's Super Smash Bros. Not Super Mario Smash Bros & Friends. Franchise representation should be evenly distributed across Nintendo's most beloved franchises. And even if we were to consider more Mario characters, why the hell would we consider this wooden brat when there's Rosolina, Waluigi, and Bowser Jr. up for consideration? Simple. We wouldn't. Please stop requesting Geno people.

Number Five Character: Ridley Franchise: Metroid

While its true that Metroid should be given more representation, people need to chill the hell out and get the facts straight. There's one obvious problem with Ridley being in Super Smash Bros. Size. It's to f@%king big! While some could argue, hey, so is Bowser! Well, Bowser has been in kart racers, platformers, party games, sports games, and therefore he's got many different versions, many different sizes. So its not really possible to say that Bowser is too big. However, if you were to crop this fearsome dragon down, it would look.... just wrong. There have been people who soft modded their Brawl game and gave Charizard a Ridley skin. If you feel Ridley should be included, watch the video. Then it should be clear why Ridley being in the roster is a bad idea. Yes. We need to villians, but that's no excuse to shoehorn in characters that simply don't fit in.

Number Four Character: Little Mac Franchise: Punch Out

What is it with people!? LITTLE MAC! LITTLE MAC! LITTLE MAC! MAKE IT STOP! Whoops. Caps lock is stuck again. Sorry about that. Well getting to the point, while its true that Punchout has never been given proper representation in the form of a playable character, it shouldn't take long before you realize why. With other characters sporting cool weapons, magical spells, and other abilities, what sort of awesome arsenal does Little Mac have? Hit em' with a..... PUNCH! Then finish them with a.... PUNCH! All he can do is punch! It would be fairly boring playing as him. And I don't see the developers able to pull off another Captain Falcon, able to create special moves for him from scratch and fit them in the game without anyone noticing. Unfortunately, if Little Mac should be at all involved with the next Smash Bros game, its probably best to leave him with the assist trophy. His monochromatic fighting style simply makes him a boring character to play as, regardless of what diehard Punchout fans could lead you to believe.

Number Three Character: Toad Franchise: Mario

Yes. I've seen it. This isn't a mistake. I really wish it was. What is wrong with you all!? Why the hell would anyone want to play as a Toad!? You know, the useless little f#(kers that run from any kind of threat and squeal in that really irritating voice? What the hell kind of attacks could a Toad use? They don't do anything! At all! I guess if Toad were to make it in, might as well throw in a Kuppa Truppa, and don't forget a mother f#^king Gumba. Are there any other useless Mario NPC's that need shoved into the next Smash Bros game!? I know I'm being fairly rude, but it bothers me. I really thought people would have more common sense. Princess Peach even has an attack where she pulls a Toad out randomly to absorb an attack. I remember on IGN when Peach got confirmed to be in the roster, she was using that attack in one of her screenshots. And when I scrolled to the bottom of the IGN article to read the top comment, someone said something like "She's got Toad. So he's not going to be playable." It saddens me that people have to be so stupid that someone saying Toad's not going to be playable would possibly be a top comment, liked by over 150 people. If you really want to use Toad, then just pick Princess Peach and keep spamming that attack! There's your Toad! Take it or leave it!

Number Two Character: Pac Man Franchise: Pac Man

It makes me sick inside. The obscene amout of people who are requesting Pac Man. Do you guys really want to play as a yellow ball this much? When there's so many other third party characters you could dream of? I get that Namco Bandai is developing the game and all, but they already said early on that they're not going to give their own characters extra consideration. Not to mention Pac Man simply wouldn't work with Smash Bros. How would he fight? Go around biting everyone? There's really not much else he could do. I suppose he could have a semi-interesting Final Smash where he turns into his super form, everyone else turns into those little blue ghosts, and he chomps them down one by one (which now that I think of it, that would be pretty damn cheap, wouldn't it?). But other than that, there's not much else Pac Man can do, and he simply hasn't held his own quite as well as a mascot as the other characters in Super Smash Bros. I think his chances of making it in are slightly better than other characters on this list, but the fact of the matter is, people need to stop requesting him all the time. The third party inclusions are a delicate procedure, and I would personally be deflated if one of them was wasted on Pac Man, especially at the cost of Solid Snake or especially Sonic.

Number One Character: Mii Franchise: None

Pardon me while my head explodes. Before I clean up the mess, I need to ask you people. Are you off the deep end!? Do you really want to play Smash Bros with a flat, boring, annoying Mii? There are so many problems with this, its hard to begin. First of all, the drama about what kind of attacks those measley little f@^kers would use is a clusterf%@k on its own. Some other people have really stupid ideas, like they could take the costumes of existing characters and therefore gain access to all their moves. I found one Youtube user who went as far as to say that if this was included, he'd never use any of the other characters again. Why would Nintendo waste time picking all kinds of characters if people were just going to choose their stupid little Mii's? Second of all, keep all this casual crap out of one of Nintendo's few hard core franchises. Imagine it for a minute, a whimpy Mii charging toward Ganondorph and slapping him around with those bland balls that are supposed to be fists. Can you let it sink in, just how stupid that would look? There is no possible way that playable Mii's will ever work in Smash Bros. Are you people requesting characters so burned out on ideas that you have to stoop this low? It makes me sick. Hold on a minute, I gotta... BLAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGUA!

.... Uhhhh. I feel better now.

So there's my top ten list of characters I wish people would shut the hell up about requesting. Thanks for the read.