"My grandfather manufactured waistcoats - you might say he had a vested interest.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet'.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

Remeber, never listen to authority or eat fried worms.