What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).