I feel odd.  I'm remembering 2 years ago.  I feel happy and sad.  I was listening to an old mix CD I used to listen to a lot back then.  The song that stands out the most is "Lost Cause" by Beck.  I shed a few tears, remembering the good times.  Everything was so much easier back then.  Everything was so much more fun.  I guess I'm happy to be where I am, but I can't help but remember and get a little sad.  Spending time with friends; making new friends; listening to lots of interesting music; drawing; text-messaging her and feeling something indescribable deep inside of me.

Then I found a picture.  I don't think I've ever been as happy as I was in that picture.  She was by my side, holding the infamous flour baby.

Those were some good times.  The days were warm and the nights were fresh and smelled nice.  Water never tasted better.  I was actually getting healthy amounts of sleep back then.  I used to shower early too, compared to my midnight showers nowadays.

Playing video games with Daniel.  Talking to Leonard on the phone almost everyday.  Cracking up with the guys (Andrew, Samuel, Breadslice, Nick) in 6th period.  Thinking of her, and getting this intense feeling in my stomach and chest.

I remember I would wake up at 4 in the morning, listen to "Lost Cause" as I thought of her for a bit, then go back to bed, with the proverbial smile on my face.

As Modest Mouse put it:  The good times are killing me.

I have a poem.

"Lost Cause"

I think of you,

Of us,

Of the good times we shared,

Of the good times I used to live.

Life is harder now.

I miss the way it was.

I used to see you everyday.

I used to talk to you everyday.

The smell of the fresh Spring air at night

Reminds me of you.

All that is left are the memories though.

I can't go back,

But I'll manage.

I miss the way things were,

But I can't do anything about it.

All I can do is remember that feeling inside of me.