In a slightly less nutshell way: Resident Evil 5 is a combo between John Woo, and crippled old people. It's a combo between John McClane and My Little Pony villains. It's a combo between Clint Eastwood and a Mercury Cyclone. It'scompletely badass,but comes with something that is so damn clunky and sounnecessary that the creators should be tortured by having to watchThe O.C. for a week without sleep.
And if I have to explain myself with the randomly picked analogies; John Woo makes the most over-the-top "This is how America rawls ^-^" movies with bullet-time and insane moves Jackie Chan would get a hernia from. Imagine aflick of his with the castbeing 70 or over.Imagine John McClane slaughtering ponies, it has potential but we'd prefer him to blow away pissed off Germans in FOX Enterainment buildings. Think Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, but instead having to do all that **** for a '72 Ford Gran Torino, he does it all for a just-rolled-out-for-the-1970s-energy-crisis Mercury Cyclone. Just doesn't work.
I'm not making much sense here, am I? Resident Evil 5 packs alot of heat for a Japanese game(most of their gamestend to roll slower, with entire movies worth of damn cutscenes and stories that could only be written by someone who lives entire life-times on Pixie-Stix) and holds the bad-ass flag pretty high. BUT, and yet, the shameless excuse for "I am not done **** yet, mkay?", the inevitable but: Due to 'tradition', something alot of wise-ass game developers live on as "innovation" makes them **** their pants and sit in a fetal position for five **** days... Due to their tradition as a "over the shoulder" third person shooter; They had to make the combat as clunky as it could be.
The tradition of having to stay put while shooting as a seven foot tall pissed off African comes charging your damn way with a big-ass mother**** chainsaw.
The tradition of enemies that suddenly stop as soon as they reach you, give you five seconds to blow their skulls off and then they swing their home-made hatchet at you.
The tradition(in general for many developers) of having to cram a clunky, unnecessary, half-working and forced co-op system in your game.
The tradition that is quick-time events. **** me sideways.
Inventory management. 'Nuff said.
The game hits all the right buttons with boss-fights, tension, and story. But for the love of all that is holy, stop living with your head so far up your copyrighted Resident Evil©'s ass, and allow us to strafe. After-all, they made it easier for us to stand still, and pop heads cause enemies come to a sudden halt a foot or two away from you before swinging their bats/blades at you. In my opinion, it should be the other way around - You being able of side-stepping and enemies just charge into you without pulling over. But who the hell am I for saying such a thing, most people who read this now simply tag me off as a hater of the RE series and wave bye bye.
Anyway, the co-op... It's a plague. Nearly every single game has to meet the standards of "online gaming", so developers force a co-op mode into the game so they get to choose two easier options instead of the "WE HATE U!" cries that roam the interwebz. Those choices are;
- Chicken**** out of having to build a multiplayer mode.
- Get happy faces for "it being there anyway".
Can't say they're wrong for forcing it in the first place, but it's... It just feels forced. As if the game is some pissed off father, worried about his daughter, it forces you to look after some senseless fool that is... there. In the same sense that Army of Two has coop. "Its made all about coop", but ends up you having to drag the other's ass around. I'm talking in a circle here... I simply mean, the game can be handled alone. It's not impossible to play solo. Hence why it feels forced. I mean, if there's no-one online who could play with me, Sheva ends up being a second inventory for me and for the rest of the matter is just there.
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