Kind of an irrelevant mindless post, but...
I watched the House season finale last night. (yeah I know, it aired a week ago. I've been busy.)

House's conversation with that Cuban guy made me realize something... right now, i'm thinking exactly the same thing. The convo:

Guy: So... they all quit.
House: Two of them quit. I fired the third.
Guy: It's very hard to lose your people. You must be very upset.
House: Yeah, I must be.
Guy: But you're not?
House: I don't think I am... I think I'm okay.

I realized today that this is exactly how I've been feeling in the last few days. All of my friends have graduated high school while I still have a year left to do, and I will probably never see the guy I like again. In preparation, I dreaded this. I knew I would be completely and totally alone, forced to somehow try yet again to find friends in my grade who actually won't move away. I just imagined myself isolated, with no one to talk to and everyone staring as I ate alone.

Although I do eat alone... occasionally... I find I haven't really felt uncomfortable doing it. It's kind of nice to be able to focus on studying for the quiz I have next period, rather than focusing on my friends' problems. I mean, of course I'm relieved to not have to deal with you-know-who anymore (so far it's been two days since she's got desperate and decided to "visit.")

I might later change my mind, but right now I kind of like doing things for myself, not dealing with simply mentioning something to someone and then having to sit through the story of their life. And I'm surprised I'm not feeling lonely about my crush not being around. I really thought I would miss him more than this.

Right now, I'm just kind of living, and I like it. I mean, even when I was hanging out with the friend I was closest with, she always had to bring her boyfriend/fiance, and they always had to make out in front of me, not even registering that I might be uncomfortable with it. And after a while, we never went anywhere exept her boyfriend's house, where I ended up sitting bored in his "room" (the basement... which got flooded by the Nor'easter... and smells...)

So yeah, just like House, I'm all alone in the world... and I'm perfectly content. I can't explain it either. :)