I have the same problem and I know it doesn't have anything to do with the router. I know this because when I can't connect I spin the xbox around and look at the wireless adapter.
The adapter has absolutely NO light. As if there's a bad connection and it's not even getting power to it. Completely dark. I unplug and plug it back in and it goes instantly red (telling me that it's getting power now, but it's not on the network yet) then a few seconds later it goes green and I connect.
I'm on Xbox 360 number six now and this one was made in September 08. You'd think they'd have these issues ironed out by now.
I love my 360, but it's the absolute worse quality piece of consumer electronics I've ever owned. I'm a gadget freak and still have every game system I've ever owned all the way back to Atari's home pong unit and the original Odyssey, so that's saying something.
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