"Okay" I cleared my throat. "That's better, my throat's clear, so now I can go back to clearing my head". I stood in front of my fellow rebellion members as I contemplated what shocking development to follow first. After all, in one short day, and six long parts, a lot had happened, as evidenced in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!

But I finally decided what to discuss.

"Who here thinks that battle was, like, totally unfair! They didn't give us a warning, and it was like, uh, hello, that's pretty mean"

There was a long silence, and plenty of glances between rebellion members. Finally I decided to speak up. "Well, thanks for that input, Super Sexy Spy Specialist, but if you don't mind I was going to say something"

"Oh, sorry"

"We forgive you" Kemp spoke for all the men, since SSSS's bikini had torn during the fight and all the spare clothes would have burned up in the second burning of the HORS.

"Okay" I began. "As some of you know, I have the gift of seeing the future. Now in my latest vision, it was revealed that someone here is a mole. So before we discuss anything further, we have to find out who this source is and lecture them"

"Uh, shouldn't we kick them out of the group?" Perminator pointed out.

"Er, I suppose so, yeah" I said, and continued. "Now, I need to interrogate each of you. Super Sexy Spy Specialist and Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister, I'll interrogate you two in private later. As for Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister's Snake, I'm assuming he can't talk?"

"Of course not" Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister said.

"You're right, that would be ridiculous" I turned to the leprechauns. "You guys are in direct danger from the Society and the Leprosy disease was almost certainly spread by the Society. But I do need to talk to you guys later about some sort of Leprechaun Legacy"

"T' be sure, t' be sure" Tiny Dancer disgraced his race with that Irish stereotype.

"GT-"

"Inventigator" GT corrected.

"Whatever. You invented the weapon that helped us out so I doubt you'd double cross. Poolmeister, you led the Rebellion for several months and made some headway into bringing down the Society, so I doubt you've been contacting them. Perminator, I don't think it's you and I just don't feel comfortable accusing a cripple of being evil"

"You called Steven Hawking evil" Alana pointed out.

"That's a story for another day" I said in a warning tone. "Now, Slappy Bag, how long have you been with the Rebellion?"

"Couple of weeks" He replied.

"And how long have you been with the Society?"

"I'm not in the society"

"Okay, you check out. It seems like all the Society members are slow and would have accidentally answered that question. Dr Kickass, what's that tattoo?"

"Oh, it's a poodle my mother branded on me when I was two. It stands for loyalty and honour"

"Well, I'm not gonna argue with that. Now, Corn Cobbler, why that nickname?"

"Well, I'm a farmer and I grow corn. I don't have the time to be in an evil corporation because I'm too busy with my crops. So I joined you guys because it seemed less time consuming. I was wrong"

"Well, you seem like a usual loveable hick, you pass the test. Nanananana Pacman, are those bitemarks on your neck?"

"Yeah, I was choking a guy up there earlier but when he started to turn blue, he overpowered me and bit me"

"Well, I doubt anyone would go cannibal on their own coworker when there's plenty of tasty people to go around. Desert Dessert, you seem pretty flexible-"

"Oh, I'm very flexible" She winked.

"Okay, you passed too. Though I will have to interrogate you further in private aswell"

"Menace, that sounds like a traitorous name-" I started, but the muscular guy interrupted me.

"Well, if you took time out from hitting on my girlfriend" He put his arm around Desert Dessert, "Then you'd know MENACE stands for Mighty, Entelligent, Nice And Caring Endividual. I'd never betray this cause"

"Wow, you guys love your anagrams" I said eventually, moving on. "Mr Potato Head" I couldn't help snickering as I spoke the name and figured by doing that I'd caused the poorly shaped head enough embarrassment so I moved on. "Dyslexic Peet, are you really dyslexic?"

"Nah, some of these guy started up the rumour. They think I'm an M-R-O-N-O" For some reason he spelled the last word out.

"Uh...okay, that brings us to Tyrannosaurus Sex. By process of elimination you are hereby kicked out of-" I was interrupted by a sigh from Kemp. "What?" I said.

"What? Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about something else" Kemp was looking at his watch.

"What could be more important than this?" I asked. "And why are you looking at your watch, that thing's been broken for months"

"Well, I entered this competition, right? They rang up and said that I had already won, so I gave them the address a few days ago and they still haven't shown up with my mystery prize"

The rebellion booed and threw things at Kemp.

"Calm down" I yelled. "Kemp's a simpleton, he didn't mean to give away our position"

"Our what?" Kemp said. "Oh, you don't think that... aw, man, I really wanted that mystery prize"

Just then there was a thud above us. I slowly opened the hatch and to my surprise, there was neither a good guy nor a bad guy above us. Just a mailman.

"Hi, I have a delivery for Kemp Frogger, winner of the Random Caller Competition"

"Awesome" Kemp climbed out of the lab and snatched the mystery prize out of the mailman's hands. "Hey, a new watch! Awesome!" Kemp put it on and showed everyone. "Did you have any trouble finding the place?"

"Well, you said the address was somewhere in the desert, and the house was called House of the Rising Sun, but I couldn't find a house anywhere here, and just stumbled upon this hatch so I took a shot"

"Yeah, sorry, the house just burnt down. Plus it has a habit of disappearing at times. Thanks for the prize" Kemp waved.

When he realised he wasn't getting a tip, the mailman scoffed and left.

"Wait, so Kemp's not the mole?" Alana said, picking her shoe out of Kemp's back and putting it back on. "Then who is?"

"I dunno, I guess we're back to square one. What do you think Pool?" I asked but got no answer. "Pool?" I tried to tap Poolmeister on the shoulder, but my hand went straight through him. "Uh, was Pool always this transparent?" I studied the illusion, as things seemed to fall into place.

Things fell silent among the Rebellion, as things tend to do when you're betrayed. They needed a leader and damn sure I wasn't the one to be it.

"Okay, next order of business..." Kemp said, admiring his new watch, "Those were some kickass moves up there Mickster. Guess that Dove really works, huh?"

***

Jason Poole lay on a beach in Mexico, sipping a margarita, when a figure took the seat next to him.

"So it all went as planned?" The man asked.

"Of course, you were the one that tipped the Society off after all" Poolmeister pointed out. "So you have their trust?"

"Well, they still don't know who I am, but I can persuade people to think anything. Anyway, the Rebellion aren't stupid, I'm sure they figured out you betrayed them by now. Are you okay with that?"

"Of course. It's always been my duty to serve you" Pool bowed to Jimbo.

"Well" Jimbo took off the hood that so many villains seemed to use to remain inconspicuous, and leaned forward smiling the same smile Micky always has. "I am my brother's evil twin after all"

Shocking twists! Crazy characters! Less boring dialogue and more action! None of these and less will appear in the next edition of the Rebellion season!