I am a pretty casual gamer, and I would have to say that I have noticed very little difference between XBL and PSN. My brother, brothers in law, and nephews all have 360's and I have played live on those. After reading all these posts about how much better live was than PSN I thought I might lose out when I bought my PS3. When I played online on my PS3 I really noticed only one difference. When I played on live the lag was horrible, there was lag every game we played in. i have rarely encountered lag on PSN. I am not a fanboy or anything I am just stating it from a casual gamers view point.
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