Beauty is only skin deep. Whats on the inside is truly what matters most.

I have always believed inthose words. I've always wanted to believe those words to be fact.

A little bit over five months ago a wonderful person entered my life and taught me that it was indeed fact. And course that person is my nii-san. He's taught me so many wonderful lessons and he knows how grateful I am and how much I appreciate his existence.

He really, truly is my nightlight.

He's going through a bit of a rough time right now, and I am hoping and praying to my Moon dynasty as much as I can that it will pass soon. While he was sparkling with supreme happiness before, he also wasn't as distressed as he is now.

And after discussing it with my gbf and one of my sisters, I don't feel any better about it.

I only have two wishes for this situation: the first, the my beloved nii-san get through this terrible bout of depression not emotionally mortified.

The other is that I can support him about half as much as he has me.

I'm not a great person. I've done some terrible things in my time and for all of the abuse I've taken, I've grown to view as punishment. Whenever I'm abandoned, I know that its just karma's way of coming back around.

But my nii-san never did anything wrong, as far as I know. So why the universe is torturing him, I have no idea. A friend said that it might be karma's way of him abandoning me awhile back. After I properly shot the idea down with verbal 'what are you an idiot?', I hope that it isn't karma's way of punishing him. He didn't do anything wrong. It was all my fault.

The me of last month would have shattered him with opinions about why he feels that way or how reality is. But the me of now just wants to help him feel better. To stop his tears and cuddle him and make him feel loved. Because he is. He is loved by myself and his other sisters here. That I can vouch for.

So, nii-san, reguardless of whatever people think, your family has your back.

Because you're beautiful and good enough for us.