Hi everyone. I'm blogging now because I have an oddly packed day today.

Relief is all I can feel right now. Some mild anxiety too, but there will be very little that can change that. I expect that to go away with the next couple of hours.

So why relief? Because everything is finally becoming ok again. I'm so grateful to that. This will be different and the changes might take some getting used to, but I could careless about that. I'm just relieved to have my nii-san back.

I don't like to think of change as bad. Change is neither good nor bad. It's inevitable. You can't avoid it. So you just have to roll with it.

Anyway, last night I dreamt of Tachi-nii. Which is weird because I've never dreamt of him before. I'm taking that as a good omen. We talked about some stuff that I talked to my other nii-san about. And being who he is, Tachi-nii just sat there as I rambled.

So as I talked about it, I decided some things.

1) Its probably best that nii-san lives so far away. If this had happened in person, I would have probably just snuggled him to near death and then called it good. We wouldn't have talked about stuff that should probably be talked about.

2) I'm relieved that I wasn't the only one affected by this. Now, nii-san, that is selfish. Your wanting to get into a normal schedule to improve your health isn't selfish. Its a good thing and of course I'll do everything in my power to help you. But my being relieved that I wasn't the only one affected is a terribly selfish thing.

3) This week will be as much hell as it will be fun. Not because of nii-san of course. Just work/people + Ikasucon/orientation = an equal amount of bad plus good.

4) I don't like complicated. I never have. Why people seem to think that I do, I will never know. So I am making it my new goal to make things as simple as possible.

5) With relief comes calm and peace. So, nii-san, last night will be the last time I rant in that manner to you for a long time. I promise. I might do normal rants of 'why are people so stupid' or excited rants, but I figure you don't mind those.

6) I also owe an apology to the Universe. I shouldn't have doubted you. My bad, dearest you, my bad.

7) Thank you to everyone that has stood beside me as I broke down. I owe you all my life and will be eternally grateful. To Emil, who is ever so strong and to poor Kuro, who got caught in the crossfire, I love you guys so much.

8) I am walking away from this nightmare of a situation as a stronger person. The promises I made to myself when nii-san left so long ago I will keep. Alli-chan has already agreed to replace him as my emotional support, and honestly, nii-san, that's for your sake. Because you don't deserve to have me dragging you down all the time. Don't argue with me on this and of course if I need comfort, I'll come to you still, but I won't give you my every thought and feeling. Thats too much for one person to bear.

9) The new school year will be upon us before we know it. My sisters go back to school on the 31st of July and I begin my college expirience on the 20th of August. So we should all do our best to let this summer pass by in peace.

10) I'm not really sure what to put here. I suppose I'll dedicate this to my ffn people, who haven't been able to get my update this week yet because of some things that happened Friday and Saturday. You'll get it tonight, I swear. I'm also giving you guys this weekend's chapter because I won't be able to post then.

So thanks to everyone who has read my blogs recently. They'll still be pretty daily.