Figured i wrote this to post it somewhere, and share it, and the only "Blog" i have is here on gamespot, so well i figured i would post it anyways even though it has nothing to do with gaming.

"The day Jesus came into my life.

I am writing this so that I may never forget the most important day of my life. I had started my day as any other, waking up Sunday to go to church, to find what it was I was seeking, to be around people that I had made friends with since I had move to Mississauga for work. Over the past month I had asked so many questions about God and Jesus and what it meant to follow Jesus. I asked how the books in the Bible were chosen and who decided that. I asked how to pray and why people put their hands up while praying.

I learned and asked, but never wanting to follow or give up my ways of doing things, never wanting to allow others to control of what was mine let alone a "God". I wanted more in my life but without wanting to make any effort to change it. I learned that there had to be more in life once I returned from a 1 month trip to Thailand. I wanted more, I asked for more, but all of it was on my own terms never my own.

The "Question" that started it all: "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savoir?" – June 4th 2009 MCAC Emmanuelle fellowship.

On June 13th 2009 I had the great opportunity to learn about missions, and their importance, hearing stories of missionaries and their struggles and triumphs. The importance of Gods work and how these individuals had let God fully take control in their lives. After that some of the fellowship decided to go to the Luminato festival in Toronto that evening where I got to ask so many more questions that I'm sure one member of the fellowship in particular must have had to pray for patience with all the questions I was asking.

On June 14th 2009, Mississauga Chinese Alliance Church was celebrating their 20th anniversary. I woke up as per usual. I had been seeking God actively now for the past month and knew so much but still had no faith. I had been told many times "Ask and it shall be given to you, Seek and you shall find." But I had been asking and seeking for a month. God had blessed me with my new job, believers in Christ were around me, and I had a no other engagements to attend to other than work. But I worried, that my seeking would end due to work. That on the 15th of June 2009 I would begin working 2pm-10pm, and the week after working 4pm-12a. I knew God would be there and I knew God knew I was seeking. But how could I seek if I was unable to go to the prayer meetings and fellowships? I was blessed to have been given Sundays off for the next while to attend church. But was that really going to be enough? Would I be able to ask all my questions and receive all my answers in such a short amount of time once a month? Well I carried on about getting ready to head out to church. I was looking forward to the buffet lunch afterwards and glad to be around people again.

I will skip the beginning things as, although they are important, the longer I type I'm sure there are things being forgotten. I remember standing there as the warship team begin their song. I was reading along as the rest of the congregation sang. The words, the passion, the love that filled the room for their love of God, it was then, when I could have asked more questions, when I could keep holding it off, keep procrastinating that I knew that I had everything I needed to follow Jesus, I knew there were no more questions needed to ask to believe in Jesus and the love given by God. I was, right then and there, filled with the Holy Spirit. I knew I was loved, I knew I had sinned, and in a moment had the past 23 years of my life flash before me and to see God's hand and love fill me and my life even when I resented God, when I wanted nothing to do with him. God loved me the whole time, gave me strength and courage even when I believed it to be my own.

As the song went on, I wept and cried, I had never felt so fulfilled in my life, things would be okay, and that I was and am a sinner, that the sin-less one, Jesus Christ, loved me just as I am. I was awestruck by the majesty of God, and being filled by the Holy Spirit.

This is a day I will never forget, and just in case, I have written this.

I thank God for the people that have been with me and who he has chosen to work through for me to have this blessed opportunity to follow Jesus and use me for his glorious work and deliver me from sin."

A little while ago I applied to a news paper company for a position as an "Advertising Consultant" thinking "hey, that's something I actually went to college for",

Well lucky me, Monday I got the call asking to come in the next day [today] for an interview. So being the proper business student I was, or perhaps just worried about making a bad impression, I shaved; got clean clothing [suit tie etc.] polished the nice shoes, and did the hair and what have you.

Well I get to the news paper office, and it wasn't what I expected, seeing as it's a family large company in my area, I learned that only 6 people work there full time. I should have picked up when the first lady that greeted me had mustard all down her shirt, but I simply figured she had a bad day. So after waiting for about 10min I get called into the back room to meet the boss. He looked stupid to say the least, but I figured I would simply give it all a chance as I'm not the one with the job and am simply the one looking to get paid for something.
So, he looks my resume over again, looks and me and says "do you know what job your apply for?" and I said "well I believe it was the advertising position, creating the ads that company's cant create themselves as well as finding new clients". He looks at the resume a bit more, kind of laughs a bit and says "Well I'm not going to beat around the bush kid, you're smart and you know your stuff, but our "Advertising Consultant" job is a paper boy, sorry it was miss leading for you, but we would love to have you as someone who delivers our paper" so I'm thinking, hmm I must be the guy who drives around and gives it to the younger kids to drop off. So I ask him "what's the pay for the position?" and he looks at me and says "well do you have any bills to pay?" and I said "yes" as I was thinking of my student loan, my phone, visa and other things that have been getting me through the hard time of being job-less. So he looks at me and says "well in a good month you will makes about $90" well, I never felt like I had ever been so worthless in my life, sitting here actually thinking of taking a job that pays $90 a month, but by this time I'm thinking I have slim chances anywhere else seeing as Wal-Mart couldn't take my in for any position simply because I was educated.

I told the guy to give me till tomorrow to think about it, he simply said "yeah, well out there these days, I'm sure that I have been your best option so far"..... I couldn't think of anything ruder to say to someone, I actually felt deflated, my student loan bill a month is over 300, cell phone [blackberry] is 60-ish, and I just keep it turned off.

So here I am, thinking of when I will get my big break into some sort of marking job for a video game company or movie company. I guess I have to keep waiting.:(

I will try and make this as short and sweet as possible as it's a sad spot in my life, and one I try to hide from others and kept swept under the carpet, but with the invention of the gamerscore and achievements its much harder to hide the truth.... I can't finish games to save my life. Anyone else like that? I sit down for a few loving ours with a new RPG or adventure game and once I have my 2-4 day fill I'm back on world of warcraft or final fantasy xi, or some other random shallow game that could never actually be beaten. However with my recent departure from the world of warcraft I have been able to up my gamerscore with gears of war 2 as well as gain an additional 30 hours of play in tales of vesperia [60 hour games should be paying me to play them] and did all of what i wanted in fable 2, but that doesn't atone for the list of 40 other games I only spend a few moments with, and really deserve more time with.

Now that its out in the open, I will go have some lunch.

Since I had lost my job and have been seeking work, i havent had a chance to buy many new games as i need to watch my savings, so i picked up an old game [well anything over 6 months is old these days] and figured i would give it another go. That game being Tales of Vesperia, so as i go along i will update the blog, and eventually come out of it with a review for everyone that very few will see.

Well score one for te first blog post i have ever made in my life.