After I got the good news about a job the other day I was excited and wanted to tell my ex-wife about it for lots of reasons. Not least of which was that since I've been unemployed I haven't been able to help much financially with my daughter and I've felt guilty, like a deadbeat, so I wanted to tell her she could count on me more in that way in the near future. She was very happy for me, of course, but she told me instead of sending money to her, just contribute it to our daughter's college fund because she (my ex) is financially secure and doesn't need direct assistance from me. That led to us discussing other things about our daughter, how we both love her more than anything and how smart and sweet and generous and insightful she is. We also discussed living arrangements and how we both thought that if I move back to the area it would be best not to disturb our daughter's routine too much. So she'd stay living with her mom, but I can visit or take her out or have her spend the night whenever I want to. We also discussed opinions and approaches to other parenting issues... if things had worked out differently, we'd have been very compatible as parents in the long run. She's a great mom, the best I could ever hope for my child and she thinks I'm a great dad too. Not that I ever want to be in a romantic relationship with her again, but I still care for her very deeply and she for me, too. We took some time to talk about what was broken and what was right in our marriage. We cleared the air or buried the hatchet on a lot of old issues and reminisced about some good times. She told me about some of her doubts and insecurities that colored her life while we were married, and I told her about some of mine and some things that happened to me as a child that cast a dark unpleasant shadow over most of my life which I'd never revealed to her before. She asked me if, since we were sharing, there was anything else I wanted to talk about... I almost came out to her then, but it didn't feel like quite the right time. She probably already knows what I'm going to tell her because I said I did have something more to say, but not over the phone, I'd really rather do it in a more comfortable, personal, setting. I don't know though, maybe she thinks I'm getting married again or something. So, anyway, the next time I see her I will tell her I'm gay and we can discuss how and when to tell our daughter. We ended up talking for more than an hour. We came to a better understanding of each other than we'd ever had before in the 20 years+ we've known one another, and it feels great. It was the closure talk we were never able to have when we got divorced because there were too many raw emotions and hurt feelings at the time. But now, no hurt feelings, no anger, no stress, just 2 people who care for and want the best for each other and our daughter. :)