Welcome to GameSpot: the world's source for videogames!
There are a few things you should know about us before you get started.
First off, We're famous! We even have our own encyclopedia article at (http://www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/GameSpot). Make sure you open it at a new window so you can keep on reading this! Plus, we are a part of Cnet Networks entertainment, which is run by cnet, which is run by Cnet Networks inc, which runs zdnet, news.com, com.com, and any other pointless web addresses that are completely obvious.
Second off, We EMBRACE rights here at GameSpot. Thats why we are the #2 source for One-sided news coverage of the video game industry (GameInformer is #1). We love the Xbox 360 here, which is why every single member of the GameSpot staff has a sticky note on their computer monitors, reading, "[This message has been deleted at the request of a moderator or an administrator]", so if anyone should decide to break the laws of adoring the 360, they can easily replace the post with that convenient, easy-to-read-and-comprehend text, making it very unconfusing for the author of the original text to see where he broke the rules.
Third off, There are certain criteria an author must meet to be an accepted, not-yelled-at-constantly member of this community. These are what we call,
THE FIVE PILLARS OF GAMESPOT
The First Pillar: Thou shalt use no other website
What does this mean? Do not disrespect GameSpot staff, GameSpot community, and your mom by using a different website for game reviews. You only need us!
The Second Pillar: Thou shalt not accuseth GameSpot of fanboyism
What does this mean? Don't say GameSpot is Xbox 360 fanboys, or you shall be punished. Actually, go ahead and say it, but if you do you will have a billion people yell at you in about .10 seconds about how you are a **** and a *******ing ********* (yeah, i dont know what those words are either. Too many asterisks).
The Third Pillar: Thou shalt not use the name of the Xbox 360 (and/or Microsoft (and/or Bungie (and/or people who made Gears of War))) In Vain/Vein/Vane (stupid homonyms).
What does this mean? It means that you shall treat the name of Xbox 360, Microsoft, Bungie, and the people who made Gears of War with respect, and with kindness, as you would wish your mom would be treated. And it also means that homonyms can be confusing, and screw over what would otherwise be a very well-written pillar.
The Fourth Pillar: Thou shalt not give a videogame a bad review.
What does this mean? Don't give any videogames a bad review, unless they were so bad that everyone knows it was bad. How do you know that everyone knew it was bad? You don't. That means, just play-it-safe, and rate the game good. Call of Duty 3? 5 of 5. Resistance: 5 of 5. Game Tycoon? 5 of 5. Teen Titans? 5 of 5.
The Fifth Pillar: Thou shalt not commit adultry.
What does this mean? IMPORTANT: THIS IS NOT THE COMMON MEANING. Adultry in the normal sense is cheating. That means, you must have a 360 and PLAY IT, and have a GAMERSCORE OVER AT LEAST 10,000. IF you go and buy a PS3 or WII, you have cheated on the lovely Xbox 360, even if you never liked it or had one in the first place. Therefore it is a... GAMESPOT SIN.
There. It was rather easy to write that: just write all the things that I do that people complain to me about. I am always getting these private messages "Change this review" or "change that review". yeesh. I don't know if people know, but a review is supposed to be your own decision, not your decision after the world completely takes over your mind.