Alcott Yubolsov
Chew Man Chew
Di A. Rea
Dobe Fugin Widdat
Dook N. Pants
F. R. Ting
Haka Lue Gie
Henotter Titiov
Ho Hum
Hoo Flung Pooh
Hu Flung Dung
Iman S. Hole
Kis Myass
Pee Don Yu
Schrivalup Andropov
Shiek Yiboudi
Som Dum Guy
Som Yung Chick
Tai Mai Shu
Tai Mi Shu
Wong Tern
Wong Wei
Yung N. Dum
Yura Stinker

Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car
I break for........................OH **** NO BRAKES
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent's mistakes use birth control.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
All men are idiots, and I married their king.
Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.
Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes
Low riders are for little boys who can't get it up.
Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young
We're not old people we're recycled teenagers!
IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN
YOUR TURN SIGNAL IS STILL ON
IT'S IMPOLITE TO STARE
U.S.M.C. UNCLE SAMS MISGUIDED CHILDREN
Eternity: Smoking or Non-Smoking?
I wasn't born a **** men like you made me that way.
I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want

Yo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends
Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers
Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on Noah's Ark
Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone
Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACY's wrong
Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice
Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals
Yo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
You must be from out of space cause I can see the stars in your eyes.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first. (my fave)
Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say...
"I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on
the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children

Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap. StrideFoaming Face Wash
May contain foam. Hair Dryer: Do not use in shower Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Guys are like port-o-potties. All the good ones are taken and all the bad ones are full of crap! -Anonymous

Im a palm reader : Gasp! You'll die, but don't worry. You'll live through it.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you

I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" -Homer J. Simpson

On top of a pickle relish jar: I relish the thought of meeting your buns.

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

Every 10 seconds a woman is giving birth, she must be found and stoped

"Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present."

"treat everyone the same, till you find out there an idiot"

Do I give my friends advice? Jesus, no. They wouldn't take advice from me. Nobody should take advice from me. I haven't got a clue about anything..

" i had the whole world in my hands but i gave it away"

"lets toast till we die"

"i never need to see the sun again, there enough light in your eyes to light up all the world"

There is a light at the end of every tunnel....just pray it's not a train!.

Okay, I met this guy, we'll say Rick. Anyways I was 15 and he looked about 5 years older....which is what he told me. I didn't think it was gonna go past a date so when he asked me to dinner I accepted. The date was great, we went to see a scary movie which made me end up sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped around me. The date ended with a nice long kiss. We talked to eachother on the phone for hours each day. We saw eachother throughout the summer and got close but kept it to small dates. I had to go register for school and I saw him there. So I ran up to hug and kiss him and he wouldn't touch me. I shruged it off and got my stuff. I went home and called him and he said we couldn't see eachother anymore... I was crushed. First day of school came around...and I saw him... Turns out he's NOT only 5 years older...turns out he's about 15 years older and also my Geography teacher! It was SO embarrassing! Everyone knew! It's the worst class of my life!

FUNNY RANDOM THOUGHTS (RANDOM LIKE ME =]) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.
Do penguins have knees?
Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?
Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?
Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?
If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"?
Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
Can you cry underwater?
You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

Funny Answering Machines: (kinda random I know but so am I so its cooly Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head
The roses stink, sorta like sheep
But leave your name, number, and message after the beep
The roses are molding, the violets are rotten
And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten

We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!

"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak
up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.
BEEP."

You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"

This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.

Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!

Go away, leave me alone, please leave a message, after the tone BEEP!

These words are lovely dark and deep
But I've got promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep
So leave a message at the beep.

Hey, it's ________
Sorry you can't get through
Leave your name and your number
And I'll get back to you

Sorry we're not here to lend an ear, so leave a word and you'll be heard.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine

You know your from the 90s when You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.

You remember when super nintendos became popular.

You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS

Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

You used to wear those stick on earrings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes..

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You thought Brain would finally take over the world

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

You remember when razor scooters were cool.

When we were younger:

Before the MySpace frenzy...

Before the Internet & text messaging...

Before Sidekicks & iPods...

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX...

...Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Tag.

Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.

Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.

Red Light, Green Light.

Heads Up 7 Up.

Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.

Hopskotch.

Tree Houses.

Hula Hoops.

HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!

Running through the sprinklers.

That "Little Mermaid"

Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.

Getting the privilege to sit in the front seat of the car.

Or what about:

Hey Arnold.

Rugrats.

The Secret World of Alex Mac.

Rocco's Modern Life.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Doug.

Magic School Bus.

Pinky and the Brain


Beavis & Butt-Head

Wishbone.

Bill Nye the Science Guy


PEE-WEE!!!

The Big Comfy Couch

Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.

When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.

When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.