I've been having a lot of mental revolutions/break downs lately. I have no idea whats going on in my head anymore. Theres this really interesting theory that you are the only person alive and that everything and everyone around you are just made up from your imagination and what you want to live and be around. Which dosnt make a whole lot of sence if you look at people in bad places like Africa who are constantly dying but for me it almost seems real.

Yesterday I looked at everyone differently, almost dehumanizing them. Nothing felt real, like I was living in a dream. I know this dosnt make any sence, also what dosnt make sence is why im even talking about it. I dont quite no myself. A plea cry for someone to try and understand me? Likely, but im not 100% sure on that one.

Another thing that happened at lunch yesterday was I felt like my life was in clock work action, that everything was the same as the day before, and I needed to get out of the house more. So I went over to my friend Matt's house and we talked about this crap im bringing up. He's had a lot of the same thoughts just cant explain them. Matt's a really cool guy to talk to because we have a lot of the same experiences, emotions, and thoughts, so I can relate to him and he can relate to me.

I asked my teacher a couple days ago why we were even on this Earth. We are born, we go to school and work to make money for crap we dont need, and we try and make life better for the ones who are coming after us. If we keep thinking in this style we are going to go no where. We are not going to evolve into the assended human beings we need to be. I feel that im on my way to understanding this life a little better, but im still so far off.

What the hell am I even talking about all this for? I needed to get it out i guess, and i honestly had nothing better to say and I felt like i needed to update with a new post.

Well im going to shut up now...if anyone reads this tell me what you think, or if im just crazy and need to lay off the deep thinking.