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Alec Mason vs. Cole MacGrath: The Facts

Lately, I've been having a great time with both Red Faction: Guerrilla and Infamous. And while both game's plots share similarities--a lone protagonist taking up against an overwhelming enemy--it's the differences between Red Faction's Alec Mason and inFamous' Cole MacGrath that stand out to me. Thus, I present for your consideration, my careful scientific study of the two heroes of each respective game.

Alec Mason vs. Cole MacGrath

Tale of the Tape

Last Name

Cole MacGrath: MacGrath

Alec Mason: Mason

Winner: Mason

Occupation

Cole MacGrath: Bike messenger

Alec Mason: Space miner, explosives expert, rebel

Winner: Mason

Powers

Cole MacGrath: Controls electricity

Alec Mason: SLEDGEHAMMER

Winner: Tie

Weakness

Cole MacGrath: Water balloons, water pistols, showers/baths, humidity, sweat

Alec Mason: Falling buildings

Winner: Mason

Haircut

Cole MacGrath: Close-cropped, blond

Alec Mason: Close-cropped, brown

Winner: Tie

Outfit

Cole MacGrath: Black and yellow leather

Alec Mason: Sweet-ass green trenchcoat

Winner (for Pittsburgh Steelers fans): Cole MacGrath (for everyone else): Alec Mason

Hygiene

Cole MacGrath: Hobo filthy (see Weakness, above)

Alec Mason: Slightly dusty, in need of shave

Winner: Alec Mason

Significant Other

Cole MacGrath: Trish (doctor)

Alec Mason: SLEDGEHAMMER (sledgehammer)

Winner: Alec Mason

Additional scientific facts about Alec Mason and Cole MacGrath (with assistance from fellow scholar Chris Watters):

  • Alec Mason is only afraid of falling buildings. Cole pees himself when he thinks of lawn sprinklers.
  • Also, Cole pees himself when he thinks about peeing himself. Then he dies anyway.
  • Cole can't go outside if there is a chance of showers. Alec drives a ATV off a sweet jump then explodes the clouds to make it rain
  • Cole hasn't taken a shower since the explosion. Alec Mason showers in the tears of Jesus.
  • Cole stays hydrated by licking a moist washcloth. Alec wrings water out of Martian rock, EDF rebar, and the air.
  • Cole can't use moist towelettes after enjoying BBQ. Alec Mason can.
  • Cole's fans ask him to charge their cell phones. Alec's fans ask him to sire their children.
  • Cole spent three days in a coma after touching a dog's wet nose. Alec Mason has genetically engineered Martian wolves from dust.
  • Cole's hair is short because he is in a constant state of electrolysis. Alec's is short because the follicles have unionized.
  • Cole's jacket isn't leather, it's insulated rubber. Alec Mason's trenchcoat is made out of unicorn pelt.
  • When a building gets in his way: Cole clambers over it. Alec breaks it and the laws of the physics by destroying its very matter.
  • Cole can't climb fences. Alec Mason doesn't BELIEVE in fences.
  • Cole has nightmares about the ocean. The ocean has nightmares about Alec Mason.

Got your own Alec vs Cole science you want to drop? Let me know in the comments below.