I woke up this morning and grabbed an english muffin from the clear bag on the counter. They still smelled fresh. I sliced the muffin in two and put one half against my ear to see if I could hear the ocean. I got crumbs in my ear.

Opening the middle drawer searching for a knife to spread butter with, I hurt my lower back and had to hobble over to my easy chair to recuperate. Flustered, I went back to try and grab the knife, again. Things went well this time and I scooped a hefty amount of butter with my knife. I paused for a moment, sensing danger and at that very moment, a loud noise jolted me out of my brief trance.

Next thing I knew, I had a knife stuck in my eye and with my remaining eye, I saw my hefty scoop of butter fly through the air and onto my face.