Yes, I'm going too shift gears here for a second. Yes, all of my blogs to date have been about video games. And why not? I love video games and I like talking to like-minded people about them. But I feel right now that until I get Boom Bloox and Ninja Gaiden 2, there's really not much too talk about gaming wise.

Sure, I could talk about the latest news in gaming (Haze's epic fail to the press, Guitar Hero 4, or even the upcoming E3 news about the 3D glasses for the game Avatar.), but right now the gaming world is boring to me, so I'm going too talk about my girl problem.

So, let's start at the beginning.

I work at my moms Salon and Day Spa as a receptionist. So at the time this happened (About a couple months ago.) my hair was of medium length, and dyed black with blue freak streaks. One evening a girl walks in and she has similar hair (Though longer), I thought 'Hmm! How interesting!'. But I worked normally, and my mom fixed her right up back too her natural blond-self (She had too get her hair fixed for her passport picture.) and she went off her merry way.

Now after we get off work and come back home, we watch a movie then usually go too bed. And of course there's the talk afterwards about the movie, or other importent news. This time my mom revealed too the family that the she and the girl (Rachael.) talked quite a bit, a lot about ME.Now you are probebly thinking 'Big dealz! I got fifty girls following me around everywhere, n00b!', but unforuately I'm not as studdly as you folks, so I found this as a surprise.

Sure, parents like too talk about their kids, and show them off like the new Dodge Viper they got for their birthday, but my parenst aren't like that. Which isn't bad, they don't like talking about their social life a lot, which is cool, so when they discuss me in the coversation ethier: 1. I did something wrong, or 2. I did something VERY wrong.

Now oddly enough nethier of the above happened, so what did they discuss?

First off, this is around when Heath Ledger was found dead. Rachael loved him as a actor, especially his movie '10 Things I Hate About You.' My mom says 'Wow, my son Isaac (Yes that's my real name.) loves that movie too!' So Rachael says that's cool, and asks what I looked like, and my mom replied with a laugh, answering with 'Oh, that's him over there!'. Which that is probebly when she looked over, and saw me staring at the phone, wishing something would happen too keep me from commiting suicide (There was drool invovled no doubt.).

Anyway, moving on, she then talked about how she loved the video game Guitar Hero 3 (I do a little fist-pump.), my mom laughed again saying I loved that game. Then Rachael asked my mom how old I was (I've been told I look like a 19 year old.) which she responded with '15' (Yes, I'm seriously that old, but I like too think of myself as a mature 15.), then Rachael said 'That's cool, I'm a little older then.'.

So what was soo importent about the last two paragraphs? Well nothing of course, apart from the fact that they started the foundation for why the hell I'm posting this blog.So after the story my mom told, and having my mom laugh at me, and my dad saying I should go out with her, which I took as a joke, my life moved on.I passed my college entry exam (At 15, yes.), I went back for my 4th year of staffing at NYLT (National Youth Leadership Training.), and hating it.

Then Rachael came back too get her bane's cut, and too get her hair darked a tiny bit. She asked me too make her an iced latte with hazelnut favoring. So I made it, while I checked her out, and gave her it. She bascially jumped over the counter saying 'Thanks!', which I replied with 'Oh, no problem.', now saying this I feel like an idiot, maybe I should have said 'It was my pleasure.' too sound a little more sexy? But anyway she left, and I felt a little glowing spark inside me.

Now I can't stop thinking about her, and everything I see, hear, and say reminds me of her, even if it shouldn't. It's come down too me taking Benadryl just so I can go too sleep (It makes me go too sleep.).I don't know if I should call this a obsession, or a passionate interest, but I've found myself taking walks outside too see if I can get a glimpse of her, talk too her, ask her out maybe.

My mind fades away into day dreams more often now, and instead of novel ideas, or game ideas, I find my mind being taken over by Rachael, which is both frustrading and lovely at the same time.So here is where I talk to the reader full on, straight in the eye.

I have her phone number (W00T working at a Salon that keeps all customers phone numbers!), and I've been wondering if I should call her and ask her out. Then the more gentlemanly said comes back with 'That's rude, you should ask her permission first!', while my heart-struck side says 'F*ck that sh!t!'.

If I follow my heart-struck side I call her and ethier 3 things happen: 1. I ask her out, she accepts. 2. She gets pissed I called her and didn't ask her first. Or 3. I ask her out, she says no.

If I follow my gentlemanly side, I see another 3 things happening: 1.I walk around with purpose until I finally bump into her, and ask for her phone number, which she gives. 2. I walk around with purpose until I finally bump into her, and ask for her phone number, she doesn't give. Or 3. I walk around with purpose, never bumping into her.This is one of my personailly faults, I think too da*m hard into something and I never make up my mind because I always have two different opinions. I hate myself for this, but I can't really change it until I finally make a choice and roll with it.

So I'm asking you folks too respond too me with your thoughts, if I should call or not, or if I should walk around or not. Or if I should just forget her and move on with my sad little life.

Keep in mind that I have about 0% experience with girls, so maybe all the things she said is not even flirting, maybe that's just how she acts. Maybe she's just messin' with me, maybe I'm taking everything WAY out of context. So I don't even know if she is truly interested in me. But this subject is killing me. I think my brain is depressed now or something, I've lost all desire too eat or live, I want too stay in bed all day, I talk with my family a lot less, I have a gloomy demeanor about me without evening notcing. I take medication for allergy and sinus problems so I can go too sleep. Video Games don't make me happy anymore, and I usually just wander around aimlessly in them when I do play. And I can't write short stories or novels anymore without having a sudden urge too brake the computer, or run away.

I know this probebly sounds pathetic, but I really need some help. My only real life friends hate me, but tolerate me. My parents rather not talk too me about this (They think me getting a girl friend will never happen.), so all I have left is you folks. So can any of you help? I would be in-debt to you forever.

Thanks for reading folks, sorry with the whole 'poor me!' thing, but this is just how I feel, and it's strange because I have never felt this way before.

(BTW: Elann, if you're reading this, I watched that PS I love you movie, and it was good, but it just worsed my current state lol.)