I mean, seriously. What the **** is the deal with shy guys? They're like these little shy ****ers who wear these dumbass masks, then come after you with mother ****ing stilts and maces and **** What the **** I mean, come on Mario, you should be able to take them out with your mother****ing ability to shoot fire and **** that you get from eating flowers or riding your donkey dinosaur or whatever the **** Yoshi is. **** you, shy guys. Get a ****ing life, leave Mario alone. At least the Goombas have an excuse- they're mushrooms. But what do you guys do? You just wander around, doing nothing but trying to stop some plumber from plumbing his girlfriend. In the butt. Yeah. You ****ing cockblockers. Get a ****ing job.

This PSA has been brought to you by cough syrup. Thank you.