What do I say? Well for starters as of now I want to quit.

Quit caring.

Quit being confused.

Quit letting happiness happen.

Quit life.

Quit everything.

Quit. YOU WIN LIFE! YOU HAPPY NOW!?

*sighs*

But I can't quit now, can I?

I have friends now and I don't want to lose them.

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I got sick during moving weekend. Mother and Grandmother think I did it on purpose.

I can't take much heat and I been eating sugar and bad food like chocolate. Naturally all of it made me sick. My body has felt totally bruised since Friday too.

So I got sick and couldn't force myself to go on. I couldn't force my body to go too far. Unlike my mothers boyfriend, I could NOT force myself to work to the point I spasm and should goto the hospital.

You know the sad thing?

I'm emotionless right now.

I don't feel like caring.

I want to curl under my blanket and cry. But I can't even get to the point of being able to cry.

You know why?

Because I cried enough. I cried a lot as I started to break. I'm on depression pills now and only about once have sunk to a deep enough state to breakdown. And you know what? I called my friend and she helped me through it. That was two days ago.

Of course I can't tell whether any of you care or not. What does it matter? I know for sure which of you do care and that's because even if we have real life friends, we never forget our time online and shall always be friends.

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Now I am slightly better from my rant:

I am listening to depressing music since I feel better with it... Odd huh?

Anyway. School ends Wednesday.

And I am off to plan my future now. I should or I will end up failing again next year and next thing you know I'll be a drop out then live on streets.

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P.s. Talked to one of my friends through text. I guess it will be okay. I can hang out with her and Sarah this summer so it's not all that bad I guess.