The last decade was considered by many to be the "Internet" generation. Our world united together to advance technology and education to new levels. Economies boomed with the explosive force of e-commerce. That decade however, ended with terror.

The Y2k bug scared millions of Americans into staying indoors as they wrang in the New Year. Little did politicians realize, this event would spark a subconscious hate for technology across America. Hundreds of thousands of elderly people felt double crossed by the media.

"I was supposed to die in a firey ball from the sky" exclaimed Ruth O. Donald from Austin, Texas." Geraldo Rivera promised me death! Sweet sweet death." she cried from her garage/patio/bedroom. Such feelings were felt across the country by many of angry elderly voters.

"[I'm] tired of all these fancy doodad a mahbobs. With the space pods and music phones." Exclaimed Thomas Peterson as he entered a small Michigan polling station.

Politicians have been seeking a new topic to discuss since the last election. With the mid term elections quickly approaching, they are running out of ideas. Speeches about the growing conflict in the Middle East, Healthcare, Social Security and NSA Wiretapping are unimportant and irrelevant to these precious voters.

Thomas Peterson (44) continued "We like to drop bombs in real life! Not in them virtual spaces on the spider web". His heart seemed to break in half at the thought of his grandchildren's grandchildren (whom sat next to him as he entered the back of the squad car) would be forced down a path of violence, due in majority to video games.

His thoughts and beliefs are not alone. In the small town of Canton, Michigan, over twenty thousand voters agreed. "The video games" are bad for our children.

Picket signs and molotov cocktails were common place at over three other polling stations in the county! Some of the elderly were seen stealing cars and running over pedestraians, before getting into shootouts with the local law enforcement.

Gary W. Wilder of the local police department had this to say. "I absolutely agree with them. The children are our future. The children need to be protected from such violence. They need to be kept indoors in front of the [television] with us! They need to come to our cross burnings and churches every week like good citizens ought to"

Unfortunately, the average video gamer is increasing in age and is now far past the legal voting age. Nationwide politicians are gathering together in Washington, D.C. to discuss the best way to extract votes from both demographics.

Sony has offered thier Cell Processor computer chip to be used in creating robust and interactive powerpoint presentations. A Sony representitive responded "Congressmen will be able to view gigabytes of stastitcal data in over two dozen chart formats. Ranging from Pie charts, Bar graphs, Line graphs and even a multiplayer mode." Another anonymous source has confirmed that it will be powered by the new Unreal Engine being engineered by Epic Games.

In the meantime, politicians must remain as confused and irrational as the elderly. In hopes of holding onto thier precious vote, before they succumb to the elements of mortality. Gary W. Wilder, voices his concern "If the Elderly change thier mind [Wii], die or get distracted by a dollar store grand opening, we might lose the majority rule. Then we will be forced to actually 'play' these video games and win over voters with our high scores in Sonic the Hodgepodge. That will be the day that the terrorists win."

- Pat Macom