So, I was sitting in my living room with the ChiliDragon last night bemoaning the ending of my weekend and the forthcoming doom of having to face a Monday morning of work where I am several days behind due to sick leave, and I decided to watch some late night (around 11:00...not that late) T.V. before bed. As anyone who has ever been a coach potato knows, all the really interesting shows in the U.S. come on after prime time television ends. Tonight was no exception. As I scrolled down through the listings on my DirecTV programming I spotted a show that described itself as "Pants Off Dance Off" in the title. I admit, I was a little curious. I mean, could it really be any worse than shows such as "Dancing With The Stars" where washed up former world famous celebrities and atheletes trade what remains of their dignity to compete in dance competitions? (Curse you Jerry Rice! I worshipped you as a god as a kid and look what you did to me! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME!) On the other hand, many female partners in monogamous relationships sometimes take a dim view of their significant other viewing nudity in any form from females other than them. Stripping, dancing, and female bodies that aren't theirs often produces toxic results when the male member of the relationship is added to the equation. So I cautiously gave the ChiliDragon a sideways look. She was playing around with her laptop at the time, and during such times I swear that I could likely say something like "Honey, I'm going to set off a small thermonuclear device in the bathroom to see the cat's reaction" and get nothing more than a "yes dear" response from her. Of course, setting off thermonuclear devices is not quite as intense as viewing dancing, stripping people. "Honey, this looks kind of interesting. I have this sort of perverse curiosity. Want to check it out?" At this point, she muttered something along the lines of not being sure if we got that channel or not. After all, much to my chagrin we don't currently order any of the adult entertainment channels with our monthly programming. Still, she hadn't shot the idea down and I was still curious so I clicked away. The result? Well, if this show ever gets some better camera work and a prime time T.V. slot, then we have the next "American Idol" show...hands down. "Pants Off Dance Off" is exactly how it sounds. Regular people get up, strip dance to music, and have a pair of professional exotic dancers judge to see which dancer was the best. It is the natural evolution for attention craving who.res who cannot make it on American Idol. Quite frankly, the show was fascinating. First you get introduced to the contestants, who, in American Idol style, are ordinary people who think they are the next great stripper. In this case the contestants included the following: 1. An S&M style fetish model who loves being tied up 2. A drunken burlesque dancer 3. Two male wrestlers: brothers who did their act together. 4. An east European bartender 5. An exotic dancer We also got introduced to the judges, two professional exotic dancers named "Honey" and "Peaches". (Or something like that. I wasn't paying too much attention to the names.) The hostess was another hot blonde. The format is as follows. Each contestant chooses a song to dance, and strip, to. As they are introduced, the hostess and the contestant in question tell a little bit about the candidate, and why they think they will win the competition. The music video begins and plays behind the dancer, who shakes his or her money makers while baring it all. The hot blonde hostess is superimposed on the screen to the left of the dancer at times to add commentary. Similarly, sometimes the super hot judges are also shown so you can see the reaction of the professionals to how the proletariat is doing. This being the U.S., the T.V. isn't allowed to actually show the breasts and buttocks in their full glory, but they get close. Right when you're about to see everything, a little logo covers the naughty parts, and includes a helpful link back to the website for those who wish to see more. Occasionally, when one of the contestants makes an obvious mistake, the recording is paused for a moment and the blonde hostess calls to one of the professionals to show how the move is properly executed. In my case, the fetish model got her fishnet top stuck briefly in her hair while taking it off and "Honey" was called in to show how it was done. At the end of the show, the two judges pick a winner, who presumably gets bundles of cash. This show was hilarious. It is also the next logical step for Fox to take "American Idol" in. Tell me you wouldn't watch this. I dare you!