No, I'm not talking about the former supermodel that also was nicknamed "The Body". (Trivia time...anyone know who I am talking about?) I'm referring to Jesse "The Body" Ventura, former Governor of Minnesota, WWE (then WWF) professional wrestler, and Navy SEAL. [Quote="The Larry King Interview"] Jesse Ventura: I would prosecute every person who was involved in that torture. I would prosecute the people that did it, I would prosecute the people that ordered it, because torture is against the law." Larry King: You were a Navy S.E.A.L. Jesse Ventura: Yes, and I was waterboarded [in training] so I know... It is torture...I'll put it to you this way: You give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.

This is the key point that is lost in the current debate on torture. Torture advocates will argue that torture can be justified if it saves American lives. Or, as they usually put it, "who cares what happens to terrorists?" leaving out the "suspected" word in front of the word "terrorists". They'll argue about ticking time bombs and Jack Bauer style last minute rescues. The problem of course is that torture just doesn't work! It is great for producing false confessions and worthless for anything else. There's an old joke that used to get told in Eastern Europe and the countries that were a part of the old Soviet Union. It goes something like this. One day Joseph Stalin was in his private office doing whatever it is tyrannical dictators do during their leisure time, when he decided to do some light reading. The problem was that he couldn't find his reading glasses. He looked all over the place for them, but they just were nowhere to be found. Being a bit of a paranoid type, he called in his KGB chief. "You must find the traitor who stole my reading glasses!" he said. "Of course comrade Stalin." replied the KGB chief. He left to carry out the premier's wishes. About a half hour later, Stalin happened to find his reading glasses underneath a book on his desk, so he called his KGB chief up on the phone. "You can stop searching for the traitor. I found my glasses." "But comrade Stalin, that's impossible." replied the KGB chief. "I already have three people who have confessed to stealing your glasses." The moral of the story is, of course, that when you beat the crap out of people and inflict extreme pain and anguish on them to the point that they can't even differentiate between what they know and what the interrogator wants them to say, they'll tell the interrogator anything he or she wants to hear to make the pain stop.



Like there are WMDs in Iraq. Like there was a relationship between Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden. Like there are rabid pink bunnies involved in a plot to rape and murder Donald Rumsfeld. Most people learn this lesson in kindergarten the first time they are the victim of a vicious "Indian Burn" and made to cry out "Uncle" to make the Indian Burn stop. Here's a bonus quote for my conservative readers. [quote="President Ronald Reagan ratifying the UN Convention Against Torture in the US"] "The United States participated actively and effectively in the negotiation of the Convention . It marks a significant step in the development during this century of international measures against torture and other inhuman treatment or punishment. Ratification of the Convention by the United States will clearly express United States opposition to torture, an abhorrent practice unfortunately still prevalent in the world today. The core provisions of the Convention establish a regime for international cooperation in the criminal prosecution of torturers relying on so-called 'universal jurisdiction.' Each State Party is required either to prosecute torturers who are found in its territory or to extradite them to other countries for prosecution."

This is not a partisan issue. This is not an issue of conservatives vs. liberals. This is not Republicans vs. Democrats. This is Right vs. Wrong. I don't care if it was Dick Cheney or Nancy Pelosi. If they were involved in turning the U.S. into a country that tortures, they should be prosecuted. If they were involved in lowering our country's sense of morality to the point that torture is actually a question that we're debating, even for an instant, as acceptable every day in our society, then they should be put in jail.