I was in Wal-Mart last night getting a tire on my car fixed, shopping for camping supplies, getting some beer, looking at guns, and buying the latest DVD and CD. Isn't that store great. I had to stop by the little boys room to do my business.

While sitting in the stale I look at the graffiti on the walls, because that's what you do when you're sitting in stalls. The general insights on these walls are amazing, along with the homo-erotic sexual deals splattered across the walls (JUST GIVE A DATE!)

While sitting there I saw someone had etched into the side "WAL MART SUKKS." Far be it from me to exploit the grammatical and spelling errors in this philosophical phrase, but one thing did pop into my mind: Shouldn't that be written on the bathroom stalls of K-Mart? Shouldn't the appropriate phrase here be "K MART SUKKS"? Then all sorts of things popped into my mind, while other things popped out of the other end (I know you wanted that imagery, so I gave it to you).

What should the graffiti in a Target be? Should it be discussions on French philosophies, or should it be an argument for the plight of French stereotypes in America? Or would they just correctly spell "sucks" when talking about another store?

Would a good graffiti in Wal-Mart be "MARTHA SUKKS" or would that be appropriate for K-Mart as well?

Also, does anyone ever actually call those numbers for a "good time"? And does anyone really show up to the dates they give?

These are the questions of the universe which are probably better left unanswered.

Live. Love. Later.