Things are pretty warped at the moment. Had a fall out with a hanger on who thought we were friends. Its a shame really. We could have been. But alas. It is time to move on.

I think I might write something. I haven't written anything in months. Shameful, Shameful.

Anyway. heres somthing fun.

TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked carwith sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3.Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask: "do you want fries with that?"

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In'.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everybody has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For sexual favours'.

7. Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a straight face.

11. Specify that your drivethrough order is 'to go'.

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM scream 'I won! I won!'

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!'

19. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

20. Reply to this blog and make a crazy little girl smile. :D