So, the big news this week is Israel's war on Hezbollah, again. Yeah, sure, I think we've heard enough of it. Two weeks of hearing nothing but "them damn Israelis are boming Tyre" and "them damn Hezbollah militants are boming Haifa" is enough for five lifetimes. Let's focus on something that's really been troubling me lately.

We have so many wrongs in our society. I know I don't have enough time to name ALL of the problems, but if you've had your head buried in the sand for a while, I'll give you the tip of the iceberg:

~We've got ourselves a b***hy actress (a.k.a. Lindsay Lohan) who doesn't like to work. Or act.
~Men in tuxedo suits (i.e. Lou Dobbs) are preaching to us the war on the middle class, while he's thinking about that nice turkey dinner he's gonna eat when he gets to his million-dollar house.
~Rich son-of-a-b***hes are getting tax cuts (for about the millionth time).
~While I'm on that subject, some of those rich S.O.B.'s are getting their c**ks sucked off by a paid 16-year-old prostitute.
~Men in Congress are thinking about raising their salaries (for the 4th time), and are just now thinking about raising the minimum wage to $7.25. At election time. How convienent. >_>
~There's a man named "George" who's breaking the law, but everyone's looking the other way. By the way, officers, if you want to arrest "George", he lives on 1600 Pennsylvania Street (or whatever it is) in Washington, D.C.. He lives in a huge white house. You can't miss it.
~World War III, which is gonna blow us all up to Mars, is starting, but everyone's too busy talking about the next American Idol season to pay attention to WWIII.

Like I said, that's just the tip of the iceburg. I could go on all night creating a list of reasons why society sucks, but I'm too lazy and tired to give a crap.

Anyway, now you might be thinking to yourselves, "Wow! There are a lot of problems out there! I wonder how we could fix them...?"

Well, my friends, look no futher! I offer you good folk a solution to all these problems! (here comes another list) The following solutions solve all of the above listed problems:

~Make the b***h work at a McDonalds for a year. That's the way to learn about this new fad called "hard work".
~Fire Dobbs. And all of the rest of the hypocrite news hosts for all I care. Replace them with people who have to work for a living (i.e. middle-class workers). Let them tell their fellow people what's going on in Congress.
~Raise the freakin' tax for rich people!! This will help the economy greatly. Oh, and those rich S.O.B.'s might complain that you won't get "their vote". Who gives a rat's ass about "their vote"? How many of them are there compaired to millions of middle- and low-class workers?
~I can't stress this enough: ARREST THE SICK TWISTED LITTLE FREAKS! This will improve society by a long shot. Especially if those freaks get life-in-prison.
~I have a brilliant idea here: raise the minimum wage salary at least every year or two. Is that too much to ask? And don't even think about raising the wages when the dreaded "election time" rolls around. Do it before we even talk about the elections.
~Call up your local officers. Tell them about the so-called "George" who's practically a criminal mastermind. Give them the directions I gave above, and they'll know what you're talking about.
~On the next American Idol, another talented teenager will get a record deal. There, satisfied? Now turn the channel to CNN. There's a little thing called "World War III" you need to learn about...

BA-BAM! There are some of my solutions that will help out society greatly. Now our children's children might not be so ashamed of us if we just follow these simple tips.

Get rich people to start working for a living, lock up sexual predators for the rest of their days, and give middle-class workers a break every once in a while. Is that too hard to do? I guess it is when you live in America.