BEGIN!!!
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Round 1, Kermit vs Achmed:
Kermit:
Lord of the Muppets here to bring you down
I am the holder of the best puppet crown
You're a suicide bomber, you must be retarded
You're dead now so you should just be discarded
You've got a small body and a huge ass head
I'm sure you looked ugly even before you were dead
You can't get a girl, while I have Miss Piggy
After this battle her and I will get jiggy
Everyone knows who Kermit the Frog is
You can't even spell your name, you're a wiz.
Achmed:
Silence! I kill you
Your body will turn black and blue
My Youtube video is one of the most viewed ever
You are the leader of sh*tty puppets that aren't clever
Being owned by that weak ass Disney company must be crap
It leaves your joke material with a censor cap
I'll get my 72 virgins, have fun with that pig
All you could get is a crappy movie gig
When it comes to awesome puppets I'm no joke
I'll bomb you so hard you won't be able to croak.
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Round 2, Ernie vs Walter:
Ernie:
Hello, I'm Ernie, a Sesame Street O.G.
Get prepared to be beat by a man who plays with a rubber ducky
I play the sax so you know I got soul
I teach kids, you are a brainless tool
You're an old white man that is an ass
You're face looks just like a bass
A war veteran, please, Bert would whoop you
Then we will flush you down the toilet like a piece of poo
So go somewhere else, and take your wrath
I'm going to go cool off in a bubble bath.
Walter:
You play the sax because you like to blow
Everyone knows you are Bert's ho
A rubber ducky? You are so sad
At least I make people laugh your humor is f*cking bad
I've never seen an orange skinned person before
A Sesame Street O.G.? More like a Sesame Street whore
I am retired and I have a wife
You should just get a knife and take your life
So enjoy your bubble bath you little fruit
Everyone wants to put your annoying voice on mute.
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Round 3, Big Bird vs Melvin:
Big Bird:
Melvin, what is wrong with your ugly ass face
You look like a puppet disgrace
You are cross eyed and have a giant nose
Take that stupid superhero costume off and put on real clothes
You have no powers, you are a fake
I'll cook you up and eat you like a steak
And is it true what I heard that you once f*cked a bird
It doesn't surprise me animals are the ones you prefer
Compared to me you are a puny twirp
I'm an icon, you are just a burp.
Melvin:
I am Melvin the Superhero, I have lots of bulk
I'll pound you just like The Hulk
Unlike Batman I don't need a side-kick
Come over here and suck my big d*ck
I can stop a bullet and I have x-ray vision
Flash's speed compared to mine is like long division
You call yourself a bird, but can you even fly?
Not counting that one time you and Kermit got high
I'll fry you and then eat you for dinner
It should be my prize for being the winner.