As a fervent reader (and writer) of video-game reviews, I can't help but see certain patterns emerging in this (admittedly) developing art. Professional journalists are not immune to criticism (as anyone who's ever visited an author's blog might attest), so I've added them into the mix and you'll see that in one case, they are the worst offenders of all!

Sites that do not allow reader review submissions seem incomplete to me, as if they encourage a seperation of opinion between industry and consumer. This is a micro class-system that I feel is bad for all interested in games and game-reporting. I hope to read and write about games decades into the future - even when cybernetic simulants play and opinionate onour behalf.

So, never take these three items as discouragement (I know you've all got thicker skins than that anyhow), but more as a (hopefully) humorous poke at one of my favourite areas in game reporting. Here are three phrases that cheese me off:

"Titular"

What does it mean? Supposed, so-called, in name only

What doesn't it mean? Actual, literal. Definitely nothing to do with mammary glands.

Where do I see it? A staggering amount of professional reviews I come across sneak this into the first or second paragraph. Take this for example – a quick, lazy search yields many results at a competitor's entertainment site. I'm all for expanding ones vocabulary, but make sure you keep the expansion going! Besides, the phrase "-of the title" seems less stuffy and equally descriptive to this reader.

Friday the 13th is set on the titular Friday.

"IMO" or "IMHO"

What does it mean? Not all that much

Where do I see it? Mainly in reader reviews. This contracted and redundant acronym has snuck into common use across the forums and 'boards everywhere. But, this is where it should stay, for not only is it a tautology but it reeks of laziness and what I suspect to be an expression borne of obligation. When posting a message, dropping IMO in somewhere is a pre-emptory diffusion of potential lash back from fellow users. How many times have you yourself read something akin to: "…But this is your opinion, not FACT". Well of course it is – we're not authoring an encyclopaedia here…

Warning: Weak opinions for next 5 Miles.

"Click to find out!" | "Keep Reading to See!"

What does it mean? Possible insecurity by the author

Where do I see it? Only in reader reviews. A leading sentence is a great tool for generating interest in the reader. However, these kinds of phrases work better as question, not statements. The problem with "Keep Reading to See!"-statements is that they give no new information, they state the obvious, and they have an quasi advertisement-like subtext to them. Has anyone ever approached a review, wanted to read more of it, and never figured out how to access the rest of the text? If so, they would surely be in the minority, and a small, instructional phrase may be the least of help they need…

Read my review and I'll post you one!

Items 4, 5 & 6 to follow soon...