The program wasn't complex, and it wasn't very long,
Though it seemed a bit erratic, its results were seldom wrong.
But that little error nagged us, so we stayed up late one night -
Found a missing comma, and we thought that fixed it right -
(Chorus)
But the bug came back, the bug came back. We thought it was a gonner
But the bugstard would just remain in coma.
We put away our documents, rewrote the code from scratch
To find out where the new and older versions didn't match.
A subtle shift of logic showed where we had gone astray;
We felt a bit embarrassed, but at least it ran okay -
(Chorus)
But the bug came back, the bug came back. We thought it was a gonner
But the bugstard would just remain in coma.
We wrote in other languages, from FORTH to APL
And ev'ry one ran ev'ry time - just sometimes not too well.
Translation to assembler didn't give us any clue;
The COBOL version crashed on ev'ry system it went through -
We gave it to the hackers - the folks who code for fun -
And wondered why they couldn't get the stupid thing to run.
Only one day later, they no longer wished to play -
Three paranoids... one suicide... and six who ran away...
(Chorus)
But the bug came back, the bug came back. We thought it was a gonner
But the bugstard would just remain in coma.
We got a summer student in to check the code by hand,
With paper, pen and calculator, run through each command,
The lights went out -- the air went thin and queer --
A sudden FLASH! of lightning -- and the student... disappeared..
(Chorus)
But the bug came back, the bug came back. We thought it was a gonner
But the bugstard would just remain in coma.
(Copyright 1991 by Joel Polowin. Music: "The Cat Came Back" by Harry Miller)
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