Hi people... it's been forever since I posted on gamespot. Hope you're all doing good. :)

After months of delayment, confusion, and running around in circles... I finally decided to make another blog. Just a quick update on what's been happening, why I've been missing, future plans etc.

First thing I wanted to say... A few months ago, I'd probobly make an enthusiastic blog about raising online actvity. The title would've been something like 'It's over 9000!' :o, followed by a mind blowing comeback speech or something goofy like that. :P However, as time passed, I grew tired of the whole tobiness gimmick, all the things I had going on with current accounts, and realized I've long grown out of that phase. I should've dropped tobiness a long time ago... instead I got completely confused, lost trace of what was happening on the internet, and ended up acting the way I did.

I'm really sorry for that, if I went overboard with my enthusiasm, and caused trouble for anyone. :( While most of contributions and projects I was doing could be considered creative, they were also kinda aimless and uncoordinated. So I can only hope the whole Tobi gimmick was broadly considered more of fun nature than actually taken as something serious and disruptive. If anyone feels like sharing their view though, I'd kinda like to hear your take on this...

Also, I went through some sudden bad events lately that I'd rather not talk about, had trouble with my computer, and came down with certain health problems... I'm better now, but still don't feel quite myself. Plus, eventually I'll most likely get occupied with some new stuff in life; all of which led me to beleive that I won't be able to keep up with online happenings in the future. :(

I'm also sorry I haven't contributed to gamespot more, but would like to take this chance to motivate readers to not follow my example, and give their best in making the community a great place, for the benefit and enjoyment of us all.:)

So, this probobly being my last blog... Just wanted to say it was good while it lasted, but the Tobi days are long gone, and the whole craziness. It's high time to settle down and start becoming more responsible. Wether I'll be able to stay in contact with you guys or not, thanks to everyone for all the shared experiences. Peace, and all the best!

So...while my profile's still closed I got tagged by Siddarthshetty and ZenesisX. Rules: You gotta answer the questions, by putting your music player to shuffle and clicking a button for each answer, the song that comes each time you MUST write it down as your answer no matter how silly it sounds (my mp3 doesn't have that option, so I used names of each song first in the list of an artist, by the order of which artists are ordered in my music folder). =D Disclaimer: By no means did I cheat in any possible way, shape or form.

Smells like teen spirit:
1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say: A handful of pain (Helloween)
2. How would you describe yourself? White America (Eminem)
3.What do you like in a guy/girl? Another angel down(Avantasia)
4.How do you feel today? In the end (Linkin Park)
5.What is your life's purpose? Cabron (RHCP)
6.What is your motto? 25 years (Blackmore's night)
7.What do your friends think of you? We are the champions (Queen)
8.What do you think of your parents? Shake ya tailfeather (Nelly) ._.'
9.What do you think about very often? Angel of mercy (Hammerfall)r
10.What is 2 + 2? 2 of americaz most wanted (2pac)
11.What do you think of your best friend? Bless the child (Nightwish)
12.What do you think of the person you like? Fairy tale (Shaaman)
13.What is your life story? My happy ending (Avril Lavinge)
14.What do you want to be when you grow up? Love me tender (Elvis Presley)
15.What do you think of when you see the person you like? Open Invitation (Santana)
16.What will you dance to at your wedding? Thank you for the music (Abba)
17.What will they play at your funeral? Sad but true (Metallica)
18.What is your hobby/interest? Candy shop (50cc)
19.What is your biggest fear? Always (Bon jovi)
20.What is your biggest secret? The funeral of hearts (Him)
21.What do you think of your friends? Objection (Shakira)
22.What will you put as the title? Smells like teen spirit (Nirvana)

Hm go figure, some of my music tastes are weird.
And now I tag the first ten people who comment on this blog (if any). Peace!

Ladies & gentlemen, Hello thar8). As the title says, i failed to pass 14 subjects in 5 days:cry: Whoever bet on me lost, sorry. My oh so sudden downfall in school etc. is incomprehensible to Everyone.. cuz I'm not straight-A, but when i set my mind to things i do them. (long story) but they gave me ANOTHER chance!:o bless em, them darlings:cry: Everyone, from my shrink to friends think it's just a phase. But this being my last of last chance i shouldn't fool around,it dragged from November, so i'll go offline (mostly) inactive. I wanna return when i'll feel freeer, ready to kick gum & chew,& start anew! Liek a.. BIG return with projects& stuff irl setteld down..probobly after Easter. Farewell!!:cry:

Anyway, wanted to say this for a few months now *ahem*: I found numerous blogs about thinking of leaving, or not knowing what to do:?,ppl use half of time on indeciciveness!:cry: (i for one never had those issues *boast boast*). *dramatization* Don't ya see, you can never leave!:o PC is a sneaky lil rascal, once you shout out you can't delete it, nevuh!:twisted: so stop fantasizing of leaving & start contributing!:x Ok now seriously:P just wanted to share how IMO I don't understand how can you 'leave' or 'stay', what does that mean, I just go inactive or active... Though, ppl getting mad at sites, leaving 'forever', then returning, then leaving again.. this is music to my ears, this is CNN. This is tobiness.^o^

p.s. got over 500 tags but no emblem:/
(i know i know, another epic fail blogT.T no need to rub it in)

p.s.2 I'll close my profile soon so if you're gonna read/comment do it now.
If not then..uh..yea. ok. cheers!

EDIT/ p.s. I've been on tv.com/GS about a year now (plus a 4 months break), this is my 50th blog, so i'll consider this my anniversary and a close to another era. Till i return i conclude season1 & 2 of my time spent here. It's been a blast, sometimes litterally lol^^.

:)~The end~:)

nyah... nobody will read this blawg anyways cuz it was written while my profile was private, the title says it all anyways.... so i'll just post a random story i made up, at leastto releive myself a bit:) (or not^^)
I call this story:

"The metaphoric summary of Thirteen Twentyfive Twelve Nine Six Five phenomenah"

As if were arrived from a bottomless hole, yet was soo less sinister. (And before that, history of so much whirlwinds, combining the unexpected and uncalled for). Way too accurate dreams, of that often blamed for Everything, and it was not to have been memorized Ever before. Now... they would burn them withches, but look! Ahoy! they worshiped the new. Surprise,a wolves den harmless. great white shield of suity nature colors, richness not found in any money, or tracktors...nay.As a sight to blind, but 20k mightier(plus four) somewhere over the rainbow way up high, over what is, and I don't mean Dorothy.Chocolate and sugar running through, under a tree of pleasure. - This.. was the entrence to the maze of a labyrinth. You could see beyond and wondered where this shield came from, and why. Just as winds blew pshiiiiiyuuu, so did the world changed form, from music to food. From food to poetry. From poetry to visage. And thunders and rainspwnd houses, under the same grand feeling. Planets living in harmony yet not being bored.......Then!! Horizon detected. As a man moved forward the earth went backward to lead him to horizon (kind of). It was a bald move for a warrior to step in a world called Ticondera. Birds fled warning of the wrath of Gyachu and his horn Watsername. He was to sacrifice his ohmost trusted sword if needed; Wanted to save BvBv. And winds blew! And terrors came! And after a millenia of blizzard... not one, not two single scratches, just a broken nail. Wolves fell like dust beneath a baby of a baby. The king proudly sounded his horns and was to return to his castle of so many birds, how much stars they are in hollywood (and more ofcourse duh). A rival king ambushes, just as he was about to enter! But the king did not feel the sting of the sword...revived as if it was nothing and the rival king was now a Jack. Who would've thought BvBv as saved, and his uncle, and aunt in law too........The throne..... was a whole different story..Out of poison he made cure, but vanilla turned to poison. from where it came, so it went, and gold dust turned into sand of the desert. ambushed by a wind that cold couldve not survived a survivor of explosions. And so layed ten thousands of dead wolves, rival kings... under a rusted throne. and bridges of glory above places where rivers once spent time. . They all plot brilliance to want the rusty throne.......but it's not there. Day 2, they say it does not exist, yet it did. Day 3,they ignore the past to fight for rust. And an alien calling for reason! not finding it but calling again!
And those of you who know me longer time from the past should know how this blog ends....

^The question of the day:|. Until I return 100% rejuvinated & active online, until then this blog'll be up. And.. I'd jus wanna know.. sum ppl knew me for a year & on other sites, or shorter & only on GS... & weell *gulp*...I've been havin these Virtual thoughts lately.. that erm.. tobi actually might not be good boy:cry:.. so my question to all ppl is..

...do you hate tobi?@_@

till i return my old tobilicious self again,
see ya tomorow peace,& shugga bugga byebye!

_

update added;

I beat a good deal of problems irl, except school T,T. So *trumpet!* next week marks Final match Tobi vs. School! Place ya bets!:D From sunday till friday, i'll be fightin-a windmill!:| Match'll determine if i'll have to quit school & go in a private one to still manage in a good college, or, i will beat all logic & get good grades for 14 subjects in 5 days...:| (aka edctnl/social future). I'll fully return when I'll have results, until i'll just stop by for updates & this blog'll be up. So see ya March 26th!!:D don't miss the return of Tobi!:D Tobi out.

My tobiness isn't lost!:) LOL like that could happen as long as i can choose... For more about tobiness, update on me etc. read this previous blog i wrote a few mis ago:
The Return of Tobiness + I Have Found Out What My Problem Is + Motion Sickness Cured?+ Etc.

2 days before Valentine's (happy belated Valantines lovebirds), it was MY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!!!:D:D Here are some awesome vids i found, check sum if ya want:O:
Happy Birthday Tobi 1
Happy Birthday Tobi 2
Happy Birthday Tobi 4
I'm slowly returning to my old self again as a new Tobi Dude:P!Gonna celebrate my18th bday a few times (with different ppl) during the week:o, so to spread a bit of bday and Valantines spirit I've decided to re-write my RhymeTime blog!!!!!! Only new and improved this time, featuring a rhyme I'll make up for each of many ppl I met during these months on these sites (ahhh the memories=D). And seriously I've met soooo many Interesting, creative ppl and even made great friends!!!!!!!I'll also add a cathegory 'I learned sometinimportnt from you:' tosome rhymes (though ofcourse i've learned a thing or two from everyone). Also, the black colored users are banned T_T. Consider this my present for my birthday to GS ppl!!!!!!!:D So without further adue, i present to you RhymeTime Edition3000:

* * * * * * * * * *

@Jinta44 (Jinta senpai);
There are times I feel I don't know,
there are times I fall so low.
but while rabbits run towards false aims,
little bunnies play games.
So that's why when I look up in the bluesky,
I know who and why
Is my one, and only, semp-ai @____@.
ILSIFY:What I learned from you senpai is that a beauty of spirit reaches way beyond the circle of life: that 'reality' (as in common sence) isn't actually 'normal' but only a reflection of a state of mind and body which is fraudly considered 'normal' for the sake of a halfly called for xenophobical state, in fear trying to seize proceedure of a way of reproduction currently being popular.:|

@Byakugan7 (new senpai);
When I was here new,looking up to you
You ignored me for months,I thought you were with c***s
I thoughtyou werethe anti hero who meant,to bash the peacful environmet
But then I came to relize, the pattern of that demise
Andrealized so much: that thorbirds sing the best!
Thatthe insight counts of anold trasurechest!
Yet still... to you I'm a pest-_-.=D
ILSIFY: From you i learned the millions ofpossibilities... from technical pointers to deep human essence...ways of putting stuff together...soooo many damn possiblitities @,,,,,,@.

@No_Hablo_Ingles;
1... 2... 3...4... who is this at my door!
It is a bear, with no hair, followed by a livingchair!
How to solve this,Hablo knows.For solving misunderstandings he has a nose.
He'lltell thechair to fetch a coat for the bear and tell the bear to kill the chair
And after everything returns to as it should be
We'll cheer Hablo, but Hablo will hate me^_^
ILSIFY: To sum it up, I've learned that there is time and place for everything:O
_
@Ikzo;
I wish you'd see the world I do
of bacterias and tummy flu
I have a microscope, this is true
But you my friend have one too:O
Mr.Nice guy opened to everyone,
And now he is gone...
All superheros are naive and must run free (but please jus listen out)
I apologize FOR EVRYTHING IINSULTED YA AND DID BAD!!!!!!!!!!!:cry::cry::cry:
T____T
ILSIFY: Communication skills:O, and not to predict the outcome of emotions:O
_
@TheNewEraIcon:
The most powerful prodigy shining steelix I know!!… groovie!
…watching it prepare to unleash hyperbeam and kick someone's b***
In these times of glory I remember South park the movie
named 'Bigger, Longer, Uncut'.
ILSIFY: The art of expression and juggling with words=D
_
@Nightmare_Fan 17:
Energy loaded… The power of youth unleashed!…
Words spreadin spreadin spreadin like crazy
Words outmatched that chap Jay-z
It's just.... gnarlyO____O
ILSIFY: The art of endless overwhelming positive energy @___@ Reminded me of childhood days.
ATTENTION: Jake left gamespot until further notice!
_
@MirrorImageofReflect:
Positive vibes, yipee!!!=D
Your poetry can cheer anyone, even… droopy.:|
ILSIFY: A realm of calm suiting imagination land @_@ (and that romance still exists in 21s century!)
_

@Frenchdynasty:
With an ego reaching from Goldust to Martin Luther, you gained my aknowledgemnt, hence,
hearning you talk about your contry pride I think I actually started adoring FranceXD
ILSIFY: That ego is relative and carries many wonders:O
_

@Akatsuki398:
Never seen suchspicy knowledge, from religion to sociology, in blogs running free
You have my utter most respect sir!! although you're younger than me:x
ILSIFY: You reminded me that knowledge isn't crude and lifeless!
_

@Animanga200:
You can grab and pull in hell, then rejuvenate in an instant, from the dead
@_@... nuff said.
ILSIFY: A unique feeling… state…
_
@Scatha_guardian:
A 54 year old anime fan,
so caring, and smart, no wonder hablo is your fanJ
You can even teach a carelss person called Gretta:O
all I can say is bless you aunty Scatha!:)
ILSIFY: That years really don't mean anything much! The wisdom of growth.
_
@n-re:
There once was a little birdy. she wanted to get dirty:o
ILSIFY: na chan!!!:D
_
@soulless4now:
For the rise and fall of randomness I have been a withness
the queen of sarcasm was an empress, now she's a… er.. in stress?._.
(taps himself on the back)
_
@questwanderer:
[spoiler] *ignores qtwanderer* [/spoiler]
_

@Venus&cancer – You might not rmemeber Tobi, but I remember how your intellectualistic funnism postings helped me in the noob rebelship, Roby:o.

@Aberinkulas – I still worship your blogs tey should win a novel prize… so sensless, yet so wise:o p.s. stop ignoring me…:cry:

@Psicosis5150 – Viva Latino pride!

@Pikastatic100 – I open the gate, and find yet another great, anime update!:D

@FeltLyner – Blogs made out of pure fantasy:o… who cares, little johnny tributed sanity:twisted:..:|

@ZenesisX – I respect your logic, your riddles, and how your'e always aware! But if you don't mind I'd still like to call you 'Hair':P.

@Torferleon248 – You one of nicest pplz out there!:o ILSIFY: How to learn Japanese better.

@Swimmer1029 – a regular good ol chap, he'll wake me up or make me take a nap:P (and he'll probably think Again, that this rhyme had a hidden meaning:roll:)

@Stitch069917 – You just gotta luv your stile… the lulcats + politness, btw it's been a while!:)

@Gaaraofthefunk – Because of you I decided to give tv.com a chance, guess you're responsible for my projects and plans.:P

@Spongebob_fan17 - You a really good firend! A messege of good tiding to yu i send:).

@MrC0nfusion – To you I say what I say to myself, why oh why am I not interested in wealth:o (true story)

@Rainvainz – Your puppies were fun like playing grand theft, and now you left.:(

@xlovedust -Awesome blogs, from hats to socks.:| ILSIFY: The definition of MIAness.

@Angeldeb – He told me I'm c00l @_@... I finally know I'm not a fool!!8)

@KHfanboy - *gives you a piece of ham*, *swears*

@nightmares-r-us – glomps and falls down. Takes away your crown:|.

@jivegamer - fellow philosophy liberal supporter:O, he has a grim reaper avi whocan travel through the world/underworld boarder:).

@Mariogirl64 – Hearing about your weridness made me even weirder. I just imagined an image of a grizzly bear:cry:.

@emeraldhillzone – Joker should look up to you:o Batman too:|

@missanimefan – Let's start a riot:|

@Mejustjustin – I like your friendliness, and my room's a mess:cry:

@xiaolinprincess – don't forget to invite me, to your match versus Peach:). Hope it'll be more exciting than bleach:o.

@Dancingbanana05 – Hiya! Bye ya! …Eat ya! .LOL

@blueeyes90 – You called me Barney the dinosaur once:), made me feel good in my lungs:).

@sdavcgtfdjhgfv - kdddbddt prmtgh,nikki s bty... norrt slly norrt tumbuun sdfvak kkty:o

@Link_akatsuki_6 - hurricanes on face, all weapons in place, a tune from mariachi, and you get a sliced itachi:P (p.s. sorry for the delay, hope ya like it:D)

Phew. So that's a total of 35 someguy rhymes. Until I return rejuvenated 100%, enjoy them!!:D Also if I've missed anyone sorry, but I take requests!:D Just tell me and I'll make a someguy rhyme in the next blog:P If you wanna comment my rhymes (and vids) one by one, feel free to.:o PEACE!!!!:D

Tobiness lives on!

YES my dear co-users, In previous blogs i said it might, yet the tobiness did not, i repeat, it DID NOT fade away!!!!!:D:D *parties on earth*.Now I'm interested how many ppl actually thought it would fade away...huh?? anyone thought i'd actually growing up andchange??? Me??? Tobi dude?! Le immature philosopher? ze succesor of peter pan?
Well if ya did think i'd change actually you were partly right:? Yea... i AM growing up, and changing a bit.... and for a moment there i actually thought I'd loose tobiness for good, that there's no point...:o But then I realized something. I remembered my entire life:/... and then questioned my thoughts, emotions, spiritness and visage. And I realized something. I realized that there is sooooooooooooooooo much more to the enitre world (and me) than just plain black and white things. And the checkpoints are everywhere, god help us, but still the game goes on:o! I realized... tobines was just a too good state to loose.
So now I'll only alter it. adapt it. As I mature up. But I'll still be ya'll good ol tobi dude8). Instead of being consumed By it liek I was till now, I'm gonna consume It!:lol:. The new and improved Tobi is coming back!:D So peace to all and lolz to many! HAPPY VALANTINES PPLZ!!!!!:3:3:3 (it's still valantines at my place)*hugz all*

_

I havefound out what my problem is (shrink visit):

After 2 years I found out the origin (ofproblems i wrote in my previous couple o blogs). The shrink visit was awethum!!:D and it also helped me. It turns out:
#1 I'm just waaaay too concerned about ppl, the world etc. E.G. If a close person to me grows up into a materialistic cold flesh, or if ppl are being harrassed just cuz they're different in e.g. studying methods... i just can't let that go like that!:cry: I wanna live: not be a drone.:(
#2 Finally! Someone else confirmed me (the shrink) that it's not ALL my problem:o... main problem probobly being the fact, to quote the shrink: 'That my dad acts like he's in puberty more than me':)... that's a long, increeedibly complex story however.
I probobly wont write anynmore about it cuz i dont see a point:). Anyways i'm happy that finally i at least know what my problem is and not just be in some confusing state wandering. Now to solve it:|....

_

Motion sickness cured?

After abotu 15 years vomiting in car:|... I found a pill that actually helped me:o. It was such an odd feeling... (no it's not drugs >_>), but it was something totally else (in my stomach)... So the next time i was in a car, i tried to simulate the feeling of how i felt when i took that pill and it worked!!!!!:D From then i dont have motion sickness at all:o Just liek that I'm like kakashi in a way cuz I can simulate feelings quite good, and e.g. copy ppl's survival skills and stuff@___@... khm... yea:|also i wuz thinking of how @ ikhzo would act in situatns nd it clmd me dwn*cough*

_

Etc.

So 2010. and me being 18 years has started going for the better for me:) (except january). Not only that but I've also finally started catching up in school too:o AND I'm returning to my ninjitsu trainings:D (i'll write a blog about more when i'll officially return). Once again, I wish for all fo ya to be good, adequate and... and... TOBI LUVS YA!!!!!!!!:lol: *hurts a fly* jk:P

X_Y

...it's fading away....

§____§

This should not be possible..... My randomenss, my craziness, the immaturity... ...
Joey Willer, The Mask... Lion king, Grell Suitcliff..... nada!... I'm freagin turning into Kanou Kyosuke (damn you Kaka) from toe to head:cry: (i was liek him before but with a tobi mask:()...

...just saying you might be seeing another 'normal' non-random GS user in the near future:|. Just a possiblility and a heads up warning.

And just now when i was planning a grand comeback. Am loosing that feeling of tobiness @___@. sure I can stimulate it but it's not the same feeling. I'm a dog on a rainy day@.@.... washed up. Loosing part of me what I cherished most.... plain pre-adulthood feeling consuming immaturity... Am I really gonna turn out..........*gulp* normal?! O__O It's liek... im' turning 100% human...

LAST WILL~If my tobiness should by any chance dissapear I leave all my inheritance (including one imaginary golf ball with no bat, one imaginary half green half red colored text, and two imaginary smurfettes) to the people who will comment on my blogs. Especially my senpais, animeshowdown, emeraldhillzone, Jinta44, nightmarefan and siddhartashetty and aberinkulas.

This is dang awful... i dont' feel like tobi anyomre:?. Who know's if i'll return the same:o

[spoiler] update on my problem if anyone is crazy enough to read:D: This loosing tobiness is another problem not related to the one i ranted about in my previous blogs... about that, I talked to my psychology teacher again... 3 cases she managed more than succesfully... i was the 4th... after talking to me... left her speachless again:o... unable to solve my problem:|... bummer, eh?......... I am also struggling between where i belong either its my family, my friends, or some other place. 6 places i'm struggling between:|... and 6 is a naughty nember:cry:. Oh well:p... I say if a person challenges me telling he'll blow me away with a flame throat... I'll stab myself with a sword and say ''bring it on!'':twisted:... (interpretation: I go right through walls to solve problems if needed:o)... bye for now.:) [/spoiler]

Site enchantmants are often mentioned.:O By that I mean that people Either enthusiastically contributeand/or frustratingly complain about their ideas on how to improve sites. We have Site Enchantman forums for that, to share our ideas. Now...there are many ideas to share.

To get to the point quicker, I came up with an idea to improve these forums. Other ideas to improve these forums might be for example: to make eye candy stuff, improve background and similar, to make more people moderators, to put in the emblem/pictures organizing option, etc etc. But what would really make my day if someone would put a fast forward button in the options section;

When I was cruising through the forums earlier tonight (the day on which this blog was written), I realized that a FastForward (FF) button, would be just what gamespot needs. To get to the point quicker. I can't roam around here all day, and doublecheck things (for new comments or pms) cuz it'll make me obsessed and feel bad. So then i go away and suddenly a couple of pm-s i get when i get back, and then it's already too late to replyT_T. I can't wait here forever for new pm-s or stuff!T_T So I thoguht of the fastForard button it works like this:

I send a pm to someone. No reply for couple of mins. I click on the FF button to go forward in what should happen on GS only in an hour or two. So I go as forward in gamespot until i get that pm. Isn't it a jolly grand idea?!?:D huh:D. I'm a smart guy afterall 8), I know how stuff work behind the curtains so i can come up with such thought out ideas8). But wait...8) mods would never approve.. would they?:?uhhh...and even if they would, then what if someone else clicks on the FF button:o. Ok ok I know another complete failiure from tobi dude's blog:cry: might as well just stop blogging then since my ideas always turn out a floke.....dang...foiled again-___-.

Thank you Ikhzo for inspiring me for this blog!:x

In a vaguely related news. After 2 years I've finally discovered my problemI ranted about inthe last blog:o

[spoiler] I considered everything could be the reason for my bad feelings and confusion about what to do and what not to, from opsessive-compulsive disorders, to paranoid ones, to schizofrenic, to nerves disorders, to plain depression or puberty........ butnow i don't think it's either.A few days agoI randomly stumbled upon a star trek episode which was about paranoid behaviour:O. That sctrached the surface of me getting to a solution about my problem.Right after that epz,some film started abouta problematic family.Ironically... after 2 freaginyears of wondering what's wrong withme,justa few days before i needed to visit a shrink all things got into place (first me writingmy previousblog, then both the star trek episode and the followingfilm). I relized then that my problem is (or would be best described as): Perfectionism!:oI emphasized with ppltoo much, so much that i went overboard with it without thinkinkg of what i should (or shouldn't)actually do about it:o. The thought of people struggling yet still falling deeper got the best out of me and istarted getting obsessed with all the problems in the world but didn't realize that until just a few days ago. The little problems in life suddenly got biggerin my view and I kind of started subconsciously despizing everything in the world...:O...There's more to this, e.g. why i got this way etc. but now that i know the reason (finally!) i'll most liekly deal with it muchbetter. In my next blog i'lltell you if i'll change or not, or whatwill happen with this state of mine...Anyways, Tnx for all the coments inmy previuos blog ppl(:.Now I go back to studying cuz schoolis horriblely ermm..blah:x. byebye! [/spoiler]

Next blog: Return of RhymeTimeedition3000:o

Welcome one and all to my very 1st blog of 2010. (PARDEY) After 1 year here I was gonna make a fresh new start, revive my profile, return as active as ever... Instead!... ..I'm not ready.:x Why? Because my life was troublesome lately:o a.k.a. ME totally confused & messed up:x. Yea sure, after leading an unexplainably swell life, for the last 2 years i've been going through lots of troublesome phases. I figured I'd just beat them as I grow up... but now... now's just ridiculous!:cry: I barely get out of 1 bad feeling, and just then another one strikes me:/.1 problem I solve, an even worse one appears:/. After almost 30 freagin months going in circles, I thought at least it would be easier as i got older. WRONG! t'was even worse@.@...

Started off when i was ~going 16; not gettin along with some of my closest ones... Then I messed up my sleeping schedule!... School turned for the worst!..... When i was getting to 17 I totally lost myself in where i belong, what is good/bad ...and nuthin I did seemed right:cry:. Soon I got in a state where school wasn't my only problem, but everything:O... even things I like (e.g. internet, playing games, hanging out) became a pain:o.From mid 2009. I can't even stay in a stable friendship for long cuz i always end up acting liek i don't belong there for some reason... Today ppl actually consider me boring@@... Yes, boring - ME! Tobi dude! I was ANYTHING BUT boring.:x Was always weird & crazy, but boring???! Idk how i got myself intodis mess. Slowly I started to quit things: -Playing games, -Writing, -Going out much, -Studying, and now... I'm even starting to get annoyed by listening to music!!:cry:

No way was I gonna rant about it in a GS blog:o.Thought no matter how confused I felt inside I'd just let time heal it. But now I think it's gone too far --Am standing before being possibly expelled from school, things aren't getting better too fast, and I feel UTTERLY messed up inside:?.Although I proved several times to be beyond common psychological logic, I decided to visit a shrink cuz idk what to do anymore!:x Hopefully that won't fail like a 9'987 other things i tried:). In any case...... sorry if I was too negativistic... just thought I'd try another different aproach...And normally I would say that I'll just fight it, like ''don't worry'' etc... but now... well... after so much time and struggle....err..... I'd lie if I said some advice wouldn't help:). . . .

I wuz gonna introduce little 'Mic' to you as an upgrade on my new series of blogs, but the heck with it, I'm stuck with these problems:cry:.

I was planning to write this when i get home from school. But then *TUN TUNTUNNNN!!!* I had a psychology clas,ss and then... well... then I heard everything, t'was the last straw!!:x To get to the point quicker, i'll quote my teacher's teachings:

TEACHER - ''Unlike bihevioristc psychological views who Do Not belive in wishes, emotions, thoughts or that ppl have an identity... (insert long pause) ...The humanistc view is based on looking at ppl as positive creative creatures. You gotta understand that it was formed after world war II... blah blah... So some thought, if Hitler was to be excepted in an art school, and his persona being aknowledged, maybe he wouldn't do all that stuff...
GIRL- But then he would be g*y!!!!!
TEACHER -O_O... but he wouldn't kill millions and destroy countries...
GIRL- Yawn...
OTHERS - LMAO...

Point of this convo being....... I learned about bihevioristic view:o. A view that Denies personality, saying it's only a pain for ppl to complicate their lives. I was liek WTF, if shrinks can't agree about what an individual is, then the world is like 20k worse than i've already thought it is:cry:. Then it hit me:|..... I started looking today from a different view:O... A view without hopes or dreams... And I actually did feel better, more relieved... ON the other hand, i felt liek puking... Finally think i better understand the primitivistic survival instincts that masses posses, and only look at the world as it is - a moving pile of junk! On head of this view are intelectual ppl who think that it is unnecessary to love or hate - ''why insist on a salty river of tears, just leave it as it is; plain cold water''... In addition to everything i just said, I'm gonna be 18 in ~3 weeks. So. . . is this it?? Is my fairy tale view of life over? My craziness? Hopes & dreams about the world?? IS Tobi dude, le immature philosopher, going to finally turn into a walking number of the adult world??! Answer given out in next blog....:o (long comments welcomed, no need to hesitate:))

:cry: