Yay! Woohoo! The cries of joy echo across the void that is my blog! The episodes of Fable: Lost Chapters have returned, bringing with them more invigorating comedy and reverberating imagery! More cries of joy! Hah!
If you missed the last instalment, or have only just started tracking me, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! Before you read any further, you must by all means read the thrilling opening to this majestic saga, otherwise you will be cursed by a Nymph and some Hobbes will maim you when you're asleep. Got it? Yeah! You better had! Or I'll turn you into Balverine food!
_____________________________________________
The resonant air of Bowerstonewas as peaceful as ever; women staggering around drunk and tripping over their own dresses, children playing hide and seek and getting into fights whenever they were found, and stranded widows wailing over their mushroom-poisoned son and cheekily asking me to go get an antidote involving four toadstools, a weirdo witch, and a leaky cauldron. The rude cow! No thank you!
Ahaha! You know why? Cos I got baddies to beat up! Bandits left right and centre all asking for a piece of my Iron Longsword (recently acquired, and not from eBay either, which is a pleasant change) so with all these trader-traumatizing fools to deal with, I haven't had time to assassinate shopkeepers to steal their weaponry hanging from the ceiling, or time to flirt with local women either. And with the acquisition of a new leather suit, which put my attractiveness up by I think +30, they're still not interested at all.
Damn.
I've steadily veered towards the Light Side since last time. Last time of course i was a bit of a dual personality and that confused a lot of people, so now I've changed for the better. You hearing this, I am a better man. So now with my alignment creeping up the angelic side of things, I'm actually applauded for everything I do and followers stalk me everywhere just like that blasted Pikachu in Pokemon Yellow. And it is really annoying and the temptation to overthrow them with my sword is just overwhelming, but NO! I am a warrior who fights for whats right now, not an evildoer who stabs people for no reason! I will not give in!
People know my name now, too. And I was going to save up for a brand new name, too, the names "Avatar" and "Piemaster" sound intriguing, but I ended buying a nice Oak Longbow too. Combined with my Level 4 accuracy, it can annihilate Bandits in one go. Have a bit of that!
So whenever I walk into, say, la Heroe's Guild, or Bowerstone South (I ashamedly haven't reached any other cities yet, cos I've been busy with a particularly difficult sidequest down at Orchard Farm) people will shout "AHAH! There's Ranger, how you doing today?" "How's it hanging ranger?" "I feel safe with Ranger around!" Honestly, i'm a celebrity. Yay!
And for even more publicity, I'm no longer a pathetic Teetotaller either! I went on a drinking spree which resulted in lots of vomiting in people's beds (rather amusing, really) so I'm now a Light Drinker, I think. Not for long, you wait, I'll be the biggest alcoholic in Albion soon! :twisted: I know its nothing to be proud of, but the game has a really cool drunken effect, where you stagger around and the surrounding envrionment is all wavy and blurred. Its prety cool, I tell you!
And now I'm off to do another quest for 1,500 gold, hopefully. I'm wanting a nice house in Bowerstone, so I can settle down with a wife who gives me gifts but I don't give her any in return. And I won't ever be home, either. She'll be so happy by herself, won't she? Won't she?
_____________________________________________
That concludes the second instalment of Ranger's thrilling life! Leave comments below, whether good, bad, or neutral.