Lets just get started by saying I was extremely hyped for this game, thinking that it would kick so much a$$ global warming would be gone and an orphan would find his loving parents. Well...
After playing the game, I got a kick out of typing in army of poo in google only to get game radars article " army of ####", if you wanted to be generous. In army of two, you and either a computer who cant tell a bee from a birck, your friend who only came over for your sister, or a 10 year old a-hole on xbox live who cant miss the new episode of future weapons so he leaves you at a checkpoint out numbered 1 to 27, will play throuch 6 mission of killing anything Dick Chany hates. You have people from the middle east, more people from the middle east, asians and other americans, all of which have acents that a death man could laugh at. Trying to compare this to real world politics is like trying to compare paris hilton to the scarecrow. If you really wanted to find similarites for this game's story, go look in your toilet. They are both full of ####.
Game play is like if you melted gears of war, splinter cell and devil may cry, meaning most of the time you will be dealing with characters who are unworthy ####'s. When you play with a partner A.I. you might as well try to teach your dog to play the violin. Even though it seams it has hope at first, it fails in some places, like you dying. He seems incapable to know when he is getting led in his a##, acting like all the enimies have marsh mellow guns instead of RPG's. Of course, enemy a.i. is like trying to kill a bear with your friends nerf gun. Enemies seem to have bullets that lock on to any thing that moves in a ten mile radius. They will fill you and you friend's body with lead faster then you can slap your friend over the head in real life. Trying to move from cover to cover is like trying to plant a garden in a minefield. Much of the time you will be hiding in the corner with your friend until one of you has enough balls to move a foot, wich ushually results in you draging his drunk a## behind something of a peach tree and then looking for bugs in his hair. Enemies are cheap and stupid, shooting you with a rocket launcher then running up next to you with their thumb up thier but. Mele sounds cool until you figure out it's the same button as fire, wich is fine until you are carrying the bfg 4000 and acidentaly pull the triger. Weapons look cool at first until you realize they are all the same guns with different fake names. If pimping your gun is cool to you then get out of your basement and take out your mini pizza bites, you are an 11 year old white. The whole idea of an army of 2 sounds cool until your other 1 equalls - .5. The game controlls like a goat on meth and the multiplayer is a bust. Not to mention the game is shorter then a porn star and has no redeeming values ( also like a pornstar).
To the games credit it looks very good, even if I could make better gun sounds with my mouth.
Army of two has some cool ideas, but like many other games stink's because it could never get the basics.
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