Good Day to you all... For those of you who missed my first post, you can either scroll up (yeah, it's not like this is TV or anything like that) or if you're too lazy and / or have the attention span of a canary, read on. Last week/day/month (still haven't determined how periodic I'll be doing this), I talked about the definition of "Geek" and gave you hints on the start of the Geek movement. Well, like I mentioned earlier, the great "Sun Tzu" was, as a matter of fact, a bona fide Geek. Like I spoke of earlier, he had this great, fantabulous-ness-ness-astic fascination and gift for the art of war, hence the title of his military treatise, THE ART OF WAR. Seriously, man. It doesn't take a lot of name a good work of art. Put two and two together and you get it. Keep it simple, stupid. Let me tell you, if I had a penny for every single person that took the drawing of a horse, went all "over-reaching" with the title and named it "Destiny on a two bit Hooker", well, I'd have a lot of pennies! Luckily, Sun Tzu, kept it straight and kept it simple. Now... Onward!

Now, Sun Tzu was a real smooth operator, man. This guy was born sometime during the Spring and Autumn Period in China, that would be somewhere around 700 years before the Birth of Christ and before the unification of China under the Qin Emperor (yes, the guy Jet Li tried to Kill in "Hero" and the guy Jet Li will play in "The Mummy 3". Insert endorsement right here). Now what made this honorable guy a bona fide geek, is the fact that he knew everything about war. The strategy, mind games, food requirement, troop morale, everything you could possibly throw at him. This guy could probably watch great conquerors such as Alexander the Great, Caesar and Hitler and go "Pft...Ass." Now there was this one particular incident where he turned a hareem of hot, hot, bootylicious concubines (in modern English, the King's/Emperor's/Ruler's Ho's and **** into fearsome assassin's and fighting machines. What happened? We'll be right back after these messages...

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Welcome back, it is I, Keith, Madman Extraordinaire, discussing the badassnessness that is Sun Tzu. Now this guy, on a challenge from the King of Wu, Sima Qian, was tasked with turning a bunch of Concubines into feared assassins. I can imagine their conversation went like this.

King of Wu: Yo, yo, yo, yo... ST. Heard you got some real sick skillz wid da fighting and ****

Sun Tzu: Yeah... Guess I'm ai't...

KW: Ya gatz sum provin ta do then, bro

ST: Oh yeah?

KW: Yeah... See if you can make em ho's i gat bring em gatz and gun down them playas.

ST: Ait.

KW: You for real, ST.

So what happened? Well, if you Wiki it, which is what I've been doing, if you guys haven't noticed. Well, my good man ST had two driving principles. Rule Number One: if soldiers do not get the general, then blame the general. Rule Number Two: it is the responsibility of the junior officers to carry out what the general commands, despite interference from the outside. Make a long story short, he got them concubines listening after a little pep talk and head slicing. Talk about commitment to his trade, eh? Since he was so good, he was thinking of well, writing all this stuff down. I mean, you can't remember stuff forever, right? So he compiled his kickass plays into the greatest playbook of all time and named it, THE ART OF WAR. That, my friends... Is the story of SUN TZU, the REAL glorious strategist, despite what Jade Empire may say. Boo yah. This is Keith, Madman Extraordinaire... Join me next week/tomorrow/ some other time and I'll be giving you an inside look in the life of Geeks everywhere... Til next time!

FLYING SQUIRREL HOP! BUZZZAH!!!!!!1