My mom sent me these in an email :lol:

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
4. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid to cough.
5. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.
6. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

I absolutely love #5 :lol: