1. Play Jim Nabor's version of "Joy to the World" as loud as you can. When your family starts to complain, refuse to turn it off, calling them a bunch of "scrooges."

2. Get yourself a Santa suit (Wal-Mart has them now) and wear it constantly. Tell your family you are the real Santa Clause.

3. Everytime you are alone in the living room, re-arrange everything. When your family asks, blame it on Santa's elves.

4. Wear antlers and paint your nose red.

5. Wrap up gag gifts like rocks and nails files for your family. When they ask, tell them they must have been on Santa's naughty list.

6. Give everyone a fruitcake for Christmas, and insist they eat it in front of you.

7. String mistletoe all over the houseand plant big wet ones on everyone.

8. Wrap up your head in Christmas lights and sing over and over, "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

9. If you do happen to go to the mall with your family, be sure to sit on Santa's lap. When it's suggested you leave, scream bloody murder, "No!"

10. After your family begins to open presents, lie in the floor among the torn wrapping papers, and move your arms and legs up and down, flat on the floor. Tell them you're making a gift angel.

11. If you have dogs, dress them up in bright holiday clothes. This is always cute and funny!