trm6 / Member

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Annoying Things to do on an Airplane

I have finals on Thursday and Friday so I'll spend most of time studying, so this is going to be the longest blog post of the week:( I have other cool stuff to add, so don't worry about getting bored:P:D

  1. Act like a movie star.
  2. Ask someone for an autograph, pretending that you think they are Tom Cruise or Madonna (do this when the person looks nothing like the star)
  3. Ask the guy next to you to hold your dentures (senior citizens only)
  4. Ask the person next to you, "Are you in the witness protection program too?"
  5. Bring a word of the day calendar on board with you. Read every single word aloud and attempt to use it in a sentence. Use them all incorrectly. For example: 'My you have a very irate home,' she said governessly.
  6. Bring a duffel bag packed with pipe cleaners, styrofoam balls, construction paper, etc. Organize a Kraft Korner. Make a craft likeness of the person sitting next to you. Give yourself an 'F'
  7. Call the stewardess 'nurse'
  8. Continually offer to share your Beano.
  9. Decorate. Bring a scatter rug and tiny draperies. Hang a 'Home Sweet Home' plaque on the back of the seat in front of you. Invite your fellow passengers to tea.
  10. Disco dance in the aisle.
  11. Don't use deoderant. 'Accidentally' stick your armpit in someone's face.
  12. Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxygen masks didn't come out because they aren't really that reliable, and if the plane crashed, everyone would die.
  13. Fart loudly and acted shocked; looking around to see who did it.
  14. Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
  15. Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises. Come out looking refreshed.
  16. Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out yelling, "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"
  17. Go into the cockpit and ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice, "Why do they call it a cockpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the world.
  18. If someone has a bad toupee, smack it off.
  19. Jump up and scream, "Ahhhhh! I left the stove on!"
  20. Lead a revolt against first class passengers.
  21. Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle with a first class passenger as if you were long-lost friends.
  22. Moon passing Delta planes.
  23. No matter what the meal choices are, demand Rice-A-Roni.
  24. Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.
  25. Pretend you're flying the plane.
  26. Put on a ten foot diameter sombrero and slouch in your seat, whacking everyone in the head.
  27. Ride carry on luggage down the aisle yelling 'Yeee-ha!'
  28. Scream and dive under your seat for no apparent reason.
  29. Continually stare at the person next to you.
  30. Sing along with the songs on your IPOD.
  31. Sneeze, using someone's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.
  32. "Accidentally" spill soda on the person next to you.
  33. Start a hot dog stand.
  34. Suddenly realize that you cannot stop singing. Become very panicky. Scrawl "Help me" on a piece of paper and hand it to the person next to you. Claw at your throat and thrash around in your seat. Never stop singing.
  35. Steal a business person's laptop. Play Solitaire on it.
  36. Tap on the windows saying, "Looks pretty tough." then ask someone if they have a bat you could use to test.
  37. Tell your fellow passenger that you just heard the bathrooms were out of order. Then pause and say, "Did you know that peanuts are a natural diuretic?" Smile.

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