•1. "It is generally believed that" = A couple of others think so, too.

•2. "Correct within an order of magnitude" = Wrong.

•3. "According to statistical analysis" = Rumor has it.

•4. "A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings" = A wild guess.

•5. "A careful analysis of obtainable data" = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.

•6. "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"= I don't understand it.

•7. "After additional study by my colleagues"= They don't understand it either.

•8. "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions" = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

•9. "A highly significant area for exploratory study" = A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

•10. "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field" = I quit.