My mom sent this to me last night:lol:

Two drunks are in a bar when one of them notices a beautiful young woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, "Jeez, I really wanna dance with dat girl."

The other drunk replies, "Go 'head and ask her, don't be thuch a chicken thit."

So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Scuse me. Would you like to boogey ooggie woogie?"

Seeing the man is totally drunk, the woman replies, "I'm sorry. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony, and would rather sit than dance."

So the man humbly returns to his friend.

"So what did she say," asks the friend.

The drunk responded, "She said she's contipated on macaroni, and would rather sh*t in her pants."